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Hapless on the Hudson: Nets, Knicks and Nate All Going the Wrong Way

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. -- Desperation oozed from every pore. If New York-area basketball hasn't reached its nadir, it's only because the NBA has a silly rule that some team must win. Otherwise, who knows how low this charade might go? The players might be the ones slipping paper bags over their heads, to match the fans' embarrassment as they sit in the stands and try not to rubberneck.


Rebuilding the Cleveland Browns: Better, Stronger, Faster


The Browns returned to Cleveland in 1999, but they have been a perennial expansion team ever since. For some reason, 2009 seems worse than previous seasons. Maybe it's Eric Mangini's blinding incompetence, or the fact that Brady Quinn is to the quarterback position what JaMarcus Russell is to the quarterback position.

Whatever, the organization that continually strives for mediocrity continues to fall woefully short. Which is why we've decided to distract ourselves from the putridity by creating a roster of non-football-playing professional athletes who would immediately make the Browns better. That's not hyperbole.

City of Cleveland Rejects LeBron Mural

LeBron JamesMaybe Cleveland really isn't LeBron James' kind of town after all.

In a decision that will surely send tongues wagging in the NBA -- and particularly in Manhattan -- a Cleveland city commission turned down a request to create a massive mural of the NBA star, on the grounds that the image was really just a giant ad for Nike and in violation of city codes that limit the size of billboards, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

The proposed mural would have replaced an existing image of James, covering a 10-story wall of an office building near Quicken Loans Arena, the home venue of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Although the city of Cleveland has made exceptions in the past for the existing mural, they felt the new image was more of an advertisement than art.

NBA MVP Rankings: Can LBJ Repeat?

LeBron James
Every few weeks, FanHouse will offer a writer's opinion on the current NBA MVP Rankings. This time, Tom Ziller gives his top 20 through the season's first four weeks, as well as an assessment of the multitude of rookie point guards.

Jeremy Shockey Is Unimpressed With LeBron James, NFL Player

Not sure Jeremy Shockey should be the final arbiter of who's fit to play in the NFL and who isn't, but he took to Twitter to explain to all the football simpletons that LeBron James couldn't cut it. Just in case that wasn't obvious from the outset.


The thing is, after James made the comments, and Browns head coach Eric Mangini offered a "come on down," some people figured all that was left to do was sign the contract and get him fitted for a a uniform. Not sure how it got to that point, but thankfully, Shockey, who came out of retirement this season to resume his career (Wait, he was in the league last year? Really?), has set us straight.

LeBron to the Browns: Why Not? Hundreds of Millions of Reasons

LeBron JamesOK, I get it.

Cleveland's Eric Mangini wants to sign LeBron James so he won't have to endanger Joshua Cribbs on the final play of a game that's beyond his reach.

Unless, of course, LeBron pulls a hamstring in the fourth hour of a typical Mangini practice.

I guess that was the idea when Mangini, the coach of the NFL's worst team, said when asked about LeBron: "I think he should come on down.''

Bosh Will Consider Joining Wade

Chris BoshDENVER -- LeBron James is the first choice. But Chris Bosh certainly would be a solid backup for the Miami Heat next summer in free agency.

And he's willing to consider it.

The Heat, which figures to have more than $15 million of salary-cap room, is looking for a superstar to pair with Dwyane Wade. And Wade, who talked last week about possibly luring James to South Florida while also mentioning Bosh, is positioning himself as a recruiter.

"Anything is possible, I guess,'' Bosh, the Toronto star who can become a free agent next summer, told FanHouse in an interview before Tuesday's game at Denver about the possibility of going to Miami. "I guess that seems to be an attractive place, you know, playing with Dwyane and playing in Miami and everything. I guess if they had the right chemistry, the right guys, that they could persuade guys to get there. But we'll see.''

Kobe: LeBron Using Head, Not Mouth

DENVER -- Do as I say and not as I do.

Or, at least not what Kobe Bryant once did.

While bound for free agency in the summer of 2004, the Lakers star openly spoke about teams he might consider. But Bryant now says Cleveland star LeBron James is making the right decision by deciding earlier this week to stop talking about his impending free agency.

"He doesn't need to,'' Bryant said in an interview with FanHouse while in Denver for Friday's 105-79 loss to the Nuggets. "He did the right thing by not talking about it. I mean, what can you say?''

Bynum Expects to be All-Star Starter

DENVER -- Andrew Bynum was talking to his brother early this week when he got the news.

Amare Stoudemire, despite being Phoenix's starting power forward, was listed on the All-Star ballot at center for the Western Conference. That happens to be the same position played by the Lakers' Bynum, and many had considered him the favorite to be the starter after Houston's Yao Ming was lost for the season due to injury and Shaquille O'Neal was traded from Phoenix to Cleveland of the East.

"I was definitely surprised,'' Bynum said in an interview with FanHouse about Stoudemire being listed at center even though he's started every game this season at forward, with Channing Frye having opened at center for the Suns.

LeBron James Right About No. 23, Stan Van Gundy Wrong

It's another Nike scheme, I suspect, perpetrated to create a rush on LeBron James' new, customized No. 6 jersey. Seems even the swooshheads have to compete against the iPod Touch, Nintendo Wii, PlayStation 3 and Guitar Hero, right? That said, if it truly was LeBron's idea to relinquish No. 23 out of deference to Michael Jeffrey Jordan, I congratulate him for his style.

While admonishing Stan Van Gundy for his ignorance.

James wants every NBA player wearing No. 23 to follow his lead and find another number. It's an idea akin to placing the image of longtime basketball great Jerry West on the league's logo, a silhouette that has survived to this day. If Jordan indeed is the greatest player ever -- and anyone who disagrees should have his sports fan credentials revoked -- it's appropriate to, in effect, retire his jersey without the actual ceremony. James is the one player worthy of the number, as a legitimate heir to Jordan, and he doesn't feel right wearing it. So why would the inferior likes of Devin Brown, Toney Douglas, Stephen Graham, Wesley Matthews, Jodie Meeks, Byron Mullens, C.J. Watson and Martell Webster not feel sheepish, much less embarrassed, in continuing to wear the sacred digits? Only Jason Richardson, Marcus Camby and Kevin Martin have displayed enough skill and accomplishment at the highest level to not draw sneers for wearing No. 23. Yet they, too, should pay tribute to Jordan and get with the LeBron plan.

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