FanHouse Lenny Dykstra

Lenny Dykstra is a financial guru. Don't believe me? Just ask him! Of course, that hasn't allegedly stopped him from paying four pilots to fly his private jet. "Allegedly" being the key word, because the only "proof" of this possible failure to pay is a lawsuit the gentlemen filed in Los Angeles Superior Court today.

According to a lawsuit filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, Dykstra has yet to fork over the cash he promised to pay four pilots in exchange for flying his private plane. Dykstra had until January 12 to pay up, the lawsuit says, but thus far he hasn't.

When I was little, I wanted to be just like Lenny Dykstra. I wanted to work hard, practice every day, and earn the respect of my peers. Wait, no, hold on, I wanted to be just like Cal Ripken, Jr. My friend Kevin from across the street wanted to be just like Lenny Dykstra. He had a mental disease and used to put dirt in his mouth. Yeah, that's right.

Anyway, Lenny was in the news this week because of an unpaid debt here or there, but the real news is that after this dignity nonsense is taken care of, the magazine entreprenuer and car wash mogul Dykstra is planning to expand his empire and pitch an Internet video game to Curt Schilling.

Yeah, I don't know either. I'm just going to copy-paste the transcript of their post-trial period and let you make sense of it. I can barely even look at this guy.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

For a self-proclaimed investment whiz, Lenny Dykstra sure seems to find himself in trouble because of money pretty often. The former Met and Phillie was in a Manhattan court yesterday to deal with accusations that he didn't pay a $139,000 bill from his accountants. The two sides settled inside a courtroom, which just left more time for Dykstra, who has switched from tobacco to Twizzlers, to regale reporters with his wit and wisdom.

NBC Philadelphia compiled a heady list of his remarks, which began when he compared the firm's bargaining strategy to that of a former Phillie teammate. DDK & Co. "folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth," according to Dykstra, who the New York Post describes as a "paunchy fireplug."

He addressed another lawsuit, this one for bouncing a $7,000 check to a private jet concern. "That's my f- - -in' ashtray money, bro." Or his suit money. "See that purple label, bro? That's seven large," Dykstra said as he showed off the lining of his jacket.

Still, Dykstra's problems don't appear to be ending soon. His first legal team from the accountant case resigned after accusing him of not paying his legal bills and his Player's Club magazine/investment advisory for professional athletes never really got off the ground. Perhaps because he was charging usurious rates for his investment advice?

Don't worry about ol' Nails though. He's pitching a video game idea to Curt Schilling which, if nothing else, will be the talkiest game ever made.

Lenny Dykstra is a savvy investor; a gentleman so refined as to have not only a Midas touch but the sensibility to use it only at the proper time. We all knew that long ago.

So, we must also presume that Nails is merely acting in a sage manner, investment-wise, when putting his ginormous house -- once owned and built by Wayne Gretzky himself -- on the market. Not that he would ever be in financial trouble.

The house -- 12,713 square feed, 8 bedrooms, 7 baths on 7 acres -- has now been listed by Sotheby's International in Brentwood.

Asking price: $24.9 million.

When reading this article in the Dallas Morning News (passed along by Ziller), you really have to do a double take on "Kidd said from New York, where he's an intern for a hedge fund company", even if you know it's coming. Because, you know, that would mean that Jason Kidd is actually interning at an investment firm in New York this summer.

Kidd is with Avenue Capital Group, a global investment firm that manages assets estimated at $19.5 billion. The group invests in distressed and undervalued securities, a description that applies to the Mavericks at the moment.

That is what the DMN says. Avenue Capital Group would not comment either way on Kidd's employment. But if this is true (apparently it is not, see update after the jump), well, it may not be some newsbreaking chunk of excitement, but I still want answers. Or at the very least, a reality show.

What is Kidd's background in finance? Is he the NBA's Lenny Dykstra? Does ACG have a summer rec basketball league? Has he interned anywhere before? Is there a guy a few cubicles down who keeps making "assist" jokes every time Kidd helps him with a client?

One of the least likely transformations in recent American sports has been Lenny Dykstra's move from tobacco juice slathered, oddly proportioned, none-too-bright seeming center fielder into financial genius. As you'll recall, Nails has become a commentator on TheStreet.com, pals with Jim Cramer and the creator of a magazine designed to help professional athletes become better managers of their money.

He's pretty sure of the success of his publication, Players Club, so sure, in fact, that he took the stage at last night's National Magazine Awards as a presenter and boasted about the rag's future.

"It's definitely major league," he said. "Maybe not The New Yorker's idea of major league, but it's major league."

Then, presenting the award for personal service, he boasted, "Next year, I'll be back up here, winning this award, because Nails never fails!"

Someone should tell that to his business partners at Doubledown Media. One issue into the venture, they're suing Dykstra for breaching their contract and not paying them more than a half a million dollars he owed. He's accused of driving up expenses and inflating costs without having the wherewithal to pay for the increased spending.

Those expenses included a $400,000 launch party and the hiring of Time magazine art director Arthur Hochstein as a design and editorial consultant. Dykstra also argued in favor of launching the title as a monthly rather than at a more inexpensive bimonthly frequency.

Interesting ideas for maintaining your wealth. Thankfully, I've sunk all money into Darren Daulton's time travel business.

(H/T Deadspin)

Thanks to his inclusion in the Mitchell Report and one of the more entertaining New Yorker profiles ever printed, Lenny Dykstra's made a long-overdue return to the national consciousness in recent months. His post-baseball attempt to conquer the financial world has given birth to The Players Club, a magazine-cum-lifestyle for professional athletes to help them maintain and increase their wealth. He may have one of his first clients under the same roof.

Cutter Dykstra is a 5'10" 18-year-old with gap power, excellent speed and a dirt-encrusted jersey with the number four. He could be a first-round pick in this June's draft and start earning the kind of cash his father can turn into, I dunno, a lot more cash. A profile in today's New York Times portrays him as less of a hellion than his father, he grew up playing golf and lives in Wayne Gretzky's house, but his fondest dream sounds a lot like dear old dad.

A more literal dream came a few nights ago, he said. His first major league at-bat was being televised. The uniform he was wearing? The Mets.

"They split the screen and showed me side-by-side right next to my dad when he was a rookie," he said. "I had a big wad of tobacco in my mouth, too."

Is it wrong that I'm already dreaming about that day myself? Baseball needs more tobacco-dappled uniforms, more wall-crashing center fielders and more Nails. Baseball needs Cutter Dykstra.

Ben McGrath's New Yorker feature on Lenny Dykstra has been making the rounds today, and deservedly so: it's a terrific read that spotlights Dykstra as a can't stop won't stop businessman that despite seeming dimwitted, is exceptionally successful in his endeavors.

There's quite a lot to highlight out of the piece -- CSTB choose to go after his peculiar eating habits and life of luxury -- but I found this part most fascinating:

As of 2003, Dykstra had never used a computer, but he went about investing in the stock market with the same relentlessness and fearlessness that had characterized his playing career. He began sending e-mails to Jim Cramer, the host of "Mad Money," on CNBC, with questions and tips. "My first reaction was that it wasn't Dykstra, that someone was just using his name because they thought it was funny," Cramer told me recently. "My second reaction was: 'My sister's a huge fan. Can I have your autograph?' He sent this huge poster that said, 'Nan, I love you.' " (Cramer's sister is named Nan.) Cramer eventually encouraged Dykstra to write a daily column for his financial site, TheStreet.com, and "Nails on the Numbers," one of the site's biggest traffic generators in recent memory, was born. Writing it typically took Dykstra all night. "Me and Mr. Thesaurus were, like, buddies," he said.

So not only did an avid businessman and day trader not use a computer until a few years ago, but the first thing he did was start sending e-mails to Jim Cramer of all people, who in turn gave him a column -- which people apparently loved.

Mad money, indeed.

So, if you were under the impression the Jason Grimsley affidavit was officially on blast for all to see, you were only half right. It was released back in the summer of '06, but let us not forget, there were still some names blacked out. And, darn it, if we've learned anything about this whole PED baseball mess, it's that we want names and lots of them.

Today, the document was unsealed with no blacked out names to speak of, and here's what we got:

Jose Canseco, Lenny Dykstra, Glenallen Hill and Geronimo Berroa were accused of using steroids by former major league pitcher Jason Grimsley in a federal agent's affidavit unsealed Thursday.

Grimsley also accused Chuck Knoblauch of using human growth hormone; David Segui and Allen Watson of using performance-enhancing drugs; and Rafael Palmeiro and Pete Incaviglia of taking amphetamines, according to IRS Special Agent Jeff Novitzky's sworn statement.

All but Incaviglia, Berroa and Watson were mentioned last week in the Mitchell Report on doping in baseball.

Whoa, no way ... Jose Canseco? I guess no one is safe from the terrors of steroids. At any rate, nothing overly shocking or astounding here. What is of interest, though, is how Roger Clemens' name was allegedly in this thing according to the L.A. Times, but his name never surfaced. I suppose that has to do with Brian McNamee being mentioned by Grimsley as referer for PEDs.

So yes: it looks as if the Grimsley chapter is all read and closed. Don't worry though, there's plenty more to come.

Talk about timing!

Some players have reacted to the Mitchell Report in different ways. Roger Clemens got real pissed off and denied everything. David Segui admitted his guilt but instead chose to use his time defending a friend. Andy Pettite came clean and asked us for our forgiveness.

All incredibly lame ideas. This is America, where no press is bad press, so you may as well use this time in the spotlight to earn a few extra dollars. Lenny Dykstra hasn't heard his name mentioned in the national media in years, and now that his name is out there again, he knows it's time to take advantage of the spotlight.

That's why he's announcing the release of his new magazine, How to Chew Tobacco and Inject Steroids Into Your Butt at The Same Time Quarterly The Players Club.

Mr. Dykstra, a star outfielder for the New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies in the 1980s and 1990s, has teamed up with Doubledown Media to produce The Players Club, a magazine aimed at helping players manage their millions.

The idea behind the magazine is this: professional athletes are often scorned for their out-size contracts and lifestyles. But once their playing days are over, more than a few of them have trouble finding new jobs, struggle to keep their families together and find that they have spent their savings.

This actually isn't a bad idea considering a lot of athletes have absolutely no idea how to handle their money. Of course, I still like my idea for Dykstra's magazine a bit better.