FanHouse Maddon08

Tampa Bay Rays mananger Joe Maddon is still wearing those eyeglasses that make him look like Lizzie McGwuire's mom, but he has made an important change by dying his silver hair black. The change was made in preparation for a themed road trip, and because he totally hates his Mom. The story is being reported by MLB.com, ESPN, and the Associated Press because it is... news? Dusty Baker buys a sweatshirt, news at eleven!

Anyway, Maddon's hair is now as black as Tampa's chances to win the AL East and it becomes my job to report this in a way that does not involve any charming, Entertainment Weekly-quality human interest wordplay.

Joe Maddon is in favor of the change at the top of the Rays on-field leadership (d'oh!) in tonight's Dugout, after the jump.

When did the Rays sign J.J. from Good Times?

The Tampa Bay Rays (neé Devil Rays) are the biggest question mark in the AL East. We know that Boston is going to do well. We know the Orioles are going to be terrible. We know the Yankees are going to seem unstoppable when the season starts, fall into, like, third place sometime in early June and make everybody freak out, the Steinbrenners are going to start threatening people, and they'll be fine and at the top of the division by the end of the year. We know the Blue Jays will exist (?). The Rays, though... who knows what the Rays are going to do.

Tonight's Dugout, which might be about the Blue Jays (I don't know), is after the jump.

Poor guy looks like he's running on a big piece of beef jerky. It must have been like stealing second on a Crocodile Mile. But hey, one more day of baseball means one more day of World Series Dugouts.

The sequel to the popular FanHouse Era classic is after the jump.

Who are the Tampa Bay Rays? How did they surpass the Yankees and Red Sox this year? Are you able to appreciate the Wilco reference in the above title? How did they parlay the second-lowest payroll in baseball into a World Series berth?

I don't know as much about this team as I should, but I do know that they play old-style, hardscrabble, hard-nosed punch-fisted baseball. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that they live their lives as off-the-grid survivalists, utterly independent of societal trappings

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

What a game. My good friend/Dugout associate Mike was in attendance and had the time of his life, a life which included Massachusetts native and former WWE champion John Cena there in Rays gear. LeBron James was also in attendance, wearing a Yankees hat, a Patriots jersey, and San Antonio Spurs shorts. And a hockey thing.

To help his cause, the aforementioned Mike has designed new Dugout playoff shirts that are available to purchase from our foreign warehouses at Spreadshirt! Support your favorite player or team (or hackneyed photo-comic comedy blogger) by buying one or more in any of our new styles.

For further information about the ALCS and "The Dugout," please click below.

"Mr. Longoria! Do you think that the 2008 Rays are the 69 Mets in disguise?"
"I don't know, but do you want to see my impression of the 2007 Mets?"
"Sure!"
"/collapses"

Cinderella's glass slipper has broken. Snow White is comatose and being cared for by dwarves. Gaston is trying to stab the Beast to death. Whatever your comparison, the Rays have hit a snag and are down with one crucial injury after another with only a few games keeping them on top of the division. The baseball world watches with anticipation to see if the team can hold together and overcome the odds.

What are the Rays going to do? Who will fill those holes in the lineup? Can you type on the Internet with a broken wrist? Do the Rays have anything to do with free agency? These questions and more (slightly more) in tonight's Dugout, after the jump.