FanHouse Making It Rain

The best humor is truthful and writes itself.

So, in the latest Dallas Cowboys circus news, Michael Irvin will be hosting a reality TV show this offseason that picks the last spot in Cowboys training camp. The producers behind the show "The Biggest Loser" are developing it.

No details have been released on what they will make contestants do. I was going to speculate as to whether a criminal record was required, but things have been so embarrassing for Dallas fans of late, I feel like that is piling on.

Andrew Bynum officially turned 21 years old on Monday, and as you can see (via BallHype), he celebrated in style the most cliched possible way a millionaire athlete can: making it rain at the club.

Before anyone gets too upset about young Drew hitting the club the night before the Lakers kick off the season, bear in mind this video surfaced yesterday, meaning it was most likely filmed over the weekend. Still, if I were the Lakers, I'd ask my young cornerstone to show a little more restraint. The timing could be worse, but it could also be better, just like when he popped up at a college party this past spring while nursing his bum knee and his teammates were in the playoffs.

And seriously, is he in a position to throw money away yet? He and the Lakers are light years away from agreeing on an extension, meaning he's still the ninth-highest-paid guy on the team.

I noted today that a poster featuring Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam Pacman Jones promoting a party was making the rounds, and that the poster featured the rather unfortunate choice of words "make it rain" -- unfortunate because when Jones made it rain last year at a strip club in Las Vegas, a brawl and shooting ensued that left a man paralyzed.

But when I called the phone number listed on the poster, I was told that Jones is not, in fact, going to be a part of this party.

"The party's still going on, but Pacman's party's been canceled," the man who answered the phone told me.

So if you're going to the National Street League's Grey Goose Party 2008, you might still see Young Spoaty, and if you're a lady you'll drink free Grey Goose, but don't count on seeing Pacman.

This poster comes courtesy of Deadspin. It features suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam Pacman Jones promoting the National Street League's Grey Goose Party 2008, which takes place on Sunday, March 30. And it includes the words, "WE GON MAKE IT RAIN!"

If there's one person on earth who should definitely not allow his name and likeness to be used in association with "making it rain," it's Pacman Jones, the man whose NFL career came to a halt when he was accused of inciting a riot at a strip club by making it rain, i.e., throwing dollar bills in the air to make it look like it's raining money, and then attacking a stripper who dared to actually pick up some of the money.

Many people in and around the NFL think Commissioner Roger Goodell will end Jones' suspension, possibly as soon as within the next month. I'm not so sure. Jones just doesn't seem like he gets it.

UPDATE: Pacman Jones Is Not Having a Party

The news that the Dallas Cowboys are considering a trade with the Tennessee Titans for suspended cornerback Adam Pacman Jones is particularly interesting in light of the report from Marc Engel of the Star-Telegram that when Jones was coming out of college, the Cowboys were so skeptical of his ability to stay out of trouble that they took him off their draft board.

You might think that if the Cowboys didn't want any part of Jones in 2005, they really wouldn't want any part of him in 2008, seeing as he's been arrested multiple times since then, has introduced the phrase "making it rain" to the lexicon and is currently suspended by the NFL. But that apparenlty isn't the case.

The Cowboys seem to have changed their minds about Jones for two basic reasons. The first is that they have a much more easy-going coach than they did in 2005, when Bill Parcells was running the show -- Parcells says he won't tolerate thugs and hoodlums, but current coach Wade Phillips doesn't have Parcells' hard-nosed approach.

The second is that the Cowboys are in a different place than they were in 2005. That year they were coming off a 6-10 season and were trying to build a team from the ground up. Now they're coming off a 13-3 season and they're thinking they could be just one star player away from a Super Bowl. If Jones' talents as a cornerback and kick returner can be the difference, then the Cowboys will welcome him, no matter what they thought of him in 2005.

For the handful of Cowboys fans who have gone through the trouble of making a homemade Pacman Jones jersey in the hopes that "Making it Rain" could end up in Dallas, well, the latest rumor runs counter to the previous one. Namely that the Cowboys aren't all that interested in Pacman.

There have been no "hell, no's" leaking from Valley Ranch, rather quiet admissions his name has been discussed. Is still being discussed. As one Cowboys type noted, Pacman's name will go away for a while, then spring back up later in a different conversation, by a different person.

The word is intrigued, not necessarily interested. ... The reason for the Cowboys to just say no is because you only take risks this big on really good to great players. And is anybody convinced Pacman will be able to return to that level after not playing for a significant period of time?

To Pacman's credit, his former teammate, Tank Williams, had only nice things to say about the guy. Sure, they were mostly cliches -- but it was all complimentary -- so it's worth mentioning.

While it's fun to speculate on what a Jones-Cowboys marriage might be like, the more likely scenario has Dallas drafting a cornerback with one of their two first-round picks. It's less risky for any number of reasons, and the team won't have to spring for a stripper pole in the locker room.

Suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam Pacman Jones gave a radio interview Thursday in which he suggested that he expects to play during the 2008 season, even though NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell appears in no hurry to reinstate him.

And since it's clear that the Titans want nothing to do with him, where might Jones play in 2008 if he is reinstated?

"I would love to play for the Cowboys, America's team," he said.

We're a long way off from that being possible, but I do think it's conceivable: Cowboys owner Jerry Jones isn't shy about taking risks, and Jones has the kind of talent that would provide exactly the "wow" that Jones says he wants to add to the Cowboys this off-season.

And as for the other things on his mind these days? In a statement that his lawyer later claimed was a joke, Jones said that he doesn't need to go to strip clubs to engage in his common practice of making it rain anymore because "I've got a [stripper's] pole in my house now."

UPDATE: For the record, when Pacman installed a stripper's pole in his house, he was following the advice of FanHouse's Ryan Wilson.

Before he was a Falcon -- and possibly before he started gambling on dog fights -- Michael Vick recorded this public service announcement urging others not to gamble on his sporting events:

Vick appeared to be making it rain toward the end there.

From You Been Blinded via Ballhype.

That's Amare Stoudemire, proving yet again that some NBA players really do have more money than they know what to do with. What, you didn't think the whole "making it rain" fad went out of style, did you? Silly you. If you liked this, don't miss the riveting sequel: "Amare listens to 2-Pac"

Big ups to The Basketball Jones (home of the best podcast evar!!1!) for finding these.

Even if he never plays in the NFL again -- and I don't think he will -- Pacman Jones has accomplished one thing in his career that no one can take away from him: He made Making It Rain a well-known phrase.

But maybe Jones doesn't deserve credit for "Making it Rain." A lawsuit filed by a woman who says she was shot after a fight that started when Jones made it rain in a Las Vegas strip club says that Jones was acting under someone else's orders when he threw thousands of one-dollar bills in the air at the club.

Natalie Jones claims in her suit that Pacman"entered into a contract" with a Houston-based company called Harlem Knights, which provides strippers for parties and events. According to the lawsuit, Pacman was working for Harlem Knights when he threw thousands of dollar bills on stage for about 40 dancers.

The Las Vegas Police Department said Tuesday that its investigation has not found any evidence of such a contract.

Hat tip: Above the Law.