The picture to the right deserves a Pulitzer nomination.
Today, The Dugout continues its month-long series of team previews by visiting the Dodgers' team chat room. Perhaps more importantly, we're resurrecting the personality of everyone's favorite Fauknerian man-child Dugout character. Wait, maybe he's the second favorite. Wait, how many Faulknerian man-children does The Dugout have? I'm guessing at least a hundred, but Manny's up there.
If we haven't talked about Manny Ramirez enough in our five years of logging AIM chats across the Internet, we're about to do it again; the baseball season is about to start and Car Man-Ram doesn't have a team. One of the reasons for this is the inflated free agent market, and the increasing number of teams focusing on bolstering their benches and bullpen. Another reason Manny doesn't have a team is because his agent is the devil and everyone hates him.
I don't care if he's a goofball. I want to formally extend my offer to Manny Ramirez. I will give you every dollar I make from now until your retirement if you go play for the San Diego Surfing Dogs and I never have to hear about you or how much money you don't want to make again.
Special thanks to our pals at Deadspin for the heads-up on the hilarious future of boring gaming, a continued thanks to Dave Gibbons and Alan Moore, and the most special thanks of all to the Kansas City Royals for doing things that make me think they will be a sort-of-okay baseball team next season.
What's great is that that guy on the right can reuse his sign if it doesn't snow in Philadelphia until January. Why did he draw snowflakes in the corners? Did he need to fill the negative space that badly? Maybe this is his 756th sign and there was a problem.
In case you did not read part 1 and are unable to scroll your browser down slightly, tonight's Dugout is a two-parter that seeks to celebrate the accomplishment that is winning a World Series and condemn any team that did not win said Series as a "bad team." Maybe it's the Cleveland sports fan in me. If you made it to the World Series and won 1 game your season has ended in SHAME and MISERY for all who support you! Sign Mark Teixeira and call me when it's next September!
Wait, what am I typing again? Part 2 actually contains an undercurrent of "yay Phillies" while maintaining that "uh oh, everyone else" thing I've been bred to feel. Part 2 of 2 is after the jump.
It's been a roller coaster ride this season for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and their real-life equivalents in the Dugout Chatroom have felt it. They were accused of being yokels from the past, they acquired and perverted one of the most popular players in the game, and they discussed at length Andre Ethier's "tINCFoUTaCU".
Tonight is the last Dugout of the Dodgers' 2008 campaign. It's like those episodes of Buffy that didn't really involve a monster and were just there to move along the season-long arc. Not dorky enough for you? It's like the Cowboy Bebop episodes without Vicious.
I guess it was dorky enough before. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
A quick word about the lack of Dugouts lately ... as it turns out, we write about baseball so much that we love baseball, and when the playoffs start we're rarin' to go with Dugout after Dugout of wacky dialects and references to Watchmen. Then, two weeks pass we haven't done anything because we've been sitting around watching the playoffs.
I personally thought the Cubs were going to go all the way, because I have brain damage and never learned basic reasoning. Four out of ten Fanhouse writers picked the Cubs to go all the way, because when we aren't running a sports blog we're picking our nose and eating paste.
Don't get discouraged, Cubs fans! They've still got a chance! Tonight's Dugout is after the jump!
The Los Angeles Dodgers and the Playoffs are SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Players are having disputes with announcers, trades are being made, statistics are being used to support and argue and build and destroy. Futures are being planned. Hair is either being cut or not being cut, we aren't quite sure. Is there going to be a happy ending?
Today's Dugout, one man's point of view, is after the jump.
I don't care how good he's playing he still looks weird in that uniform. Like when I'm playing MLB The Show 08 for the PS3 and turn on the fantasy draft. Juan Pierre is an Oriole and he's driven in 160 runs before the All-Star Break!
In tonight's Dugout, after the jump, the heel turn continues as Manny learns valuable lessons about humility, Internet phenomena, and bottled water licensing agreements.
Only a day after the pivotal Dugout of the season, the passage of time and the inevitability of happenstance thrusts the trade of Manny Ramirez on us. And not just a trade: a trade full of organization-bashing and apathy after a season devoted to disproving the character we'd developed. Our Manny has always been a bit slow, but he's also always been the kind of guy who means well and tries hard, even when he's goofing around. He's misunderstood. He's just "being Manny."
Well, "being Manny" has a different definition now.
As the Farnsworth story comes full circle, the MannyTheTorpedoes story comes to an end. Next week: Dontrelle Willis wins the Pulitzer Prize and Bill Pecota reveals that he prefers football. Tonight's Dugout, the end of an era, is after the jump.
The picture to the right deserves a Pulitzer nomination.
If we haven't talked about Manny Ramirez enough in our five years of logging AIM chats across the Internet, we're about to do it again; the baseball season is about to start and Car Man-Ram doesn't have a team. One of the reasons for this is the inflated free agent market, and the increasing number of teams focusing on bolstering their benches and bullpen. Another reason Manny doesn't have a team is because his agent is the devil and everyone hates him.
We open on a lone soldier walking through the desert. The year is 1861. The place ... Mars! Please read these before continuing:
What's great is that that guy on the right can reuse his sign if it doesn't snow in Philadelphia until January. Why did he draw snowflakes in the corners? Did he need to fill the negative space that badly? Maybe this is his 756th sign and there was a problem.
It's been a roller coaster ride this season for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and their real-life equivalents in the Dugout Chatroom have felt it. They were accused of being yokels from the past, they acquired and perverted one of the most popular players in the game, and they discussed at length Andre Ethier's "tINCFoUTaCU". 
A quick word about the lack of Dugouts lately ... as it turns out, we write about baseball so much that we love baseball, and when the playoffs start we're rarin' to go with Dugout after Dugout of wacky dialects and references to Watchmen. Then, two weeks pass we haven't done anything because we've been sitting around watching the playoffs. 
Only a day after the pivotal Dugout of the season, the passage of time and the inevitability of happenstance thrusts the trade of Manny Ramirez on us. And not just a trade: a trade full of organization-bashing and apathy after a season devoted to disproving the character we'd developed. Our Manny has always been a bit slow, but he's also always been the kind of guy who means well and tries hard, even when he's goofing around. He's misunderstood. He's just "being Manny."
