FanHouse Manuellabor

The playoffs are almost over and the stage is set for the defending World Champion Philadelphia Phillies to face the dreadnought New York Yankees ... or the Los Angeles Angels Angels, pending a dead Christopher Lloyd-style miracle.

The bottom line is this: the World Series is like one block to our left, and we're going to have to start buckling down and making some declarative statements. Before we do that, though, today's Dugout features some pre-ALCS decision arguing and some sad realities.

July was some kind of month. We saw, among other things, a perfect game, an All-Star Game, an exodus of players to competitive teams, our monthly ration of steroid drama, and a baseball executive who was fired for throwing down his shirt as though it were a gauntlet and challenging his players to a fight.

So once again, The Dugout calls upon the insights of Bobby Cox and Charlie Manuel to puree the month of July into a series of easily-digestible puns. Read it after the jump.

Welcome back to the big leagues, Petey! Three-time Cy Young award winner Pedro Martinez has been signed by the Philadelphia Phillies to bolster their ailing pitching staff as we head into the second half of the season. Pedro signed a $1 million, one-year contract with the World Series champions on Wednesday, and can earn up to $1.5 million in incentives if he pitches at least one game this season without his entire upper body falling off. Pedro in his prime was one of the best I've ever seen, and his career win-loss record is still 115 games over .500. At least he doesn't have to worry about being the oldest guy in the rotation!

The only thing he really has to worry about is Phillies fans hunting him down and murdering him if his signing gets in the way of Philadelphia acquiring Roy Halladay. And hey, maybe next year the Phils can go after Eric Gagne instead of Josh Beckett! Maybe they can get Sidney Ponson, too.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The All-Star Game rosters were announced Sunday, and both the American League and National League rosters seem to be missing some names. Baseball fans unwittingly exhibited the follies of the democratic process when they failed to vote for guys like Adam Lind, Kevin Millwood, and Adam Dunn.

Of course, All-Star snubs are an annual ritual. All told, the rosters aren't bad. In today's Dugout, it's revealed that they could have been far, far worse. Read it after the jump.

June was quite a month. On the field, Randy Johnson earned his 300th win, and the Rockies caught fire after promoting Jim Tracy to manager. Off the field, Donald Fehr stepped down as executive director of the Player's Association, the Nationals drafted super-prospect Stephen Strasburg, and it was learned that everyone in the entire universe has been using steroids.

The Dugout personas of Charlie Manuel and Bobby Cox break it all down in this evening's Dugout, after the jump.