FanHouse Marvin Lewis

After saying that he and Carson Palmer "were like Brokeback Mountain," it only made sense that Chad Ochocinco would move in with the Bengals quarterback this summer. That was the plan (according to Mr. Ochocinco), anyway.

Palmer's wife -- and I'd assume Palmer, too -- had other ideas. The family just had twins, and even if they hadn't, I'm not sure they would be interested in introducing crazy into their home. Via the Dayton Daily News' Chick Ludwig:

Update: Mr. Ochocinco has indeed tweeted that the tats are fake because his grandma would have killed him otherwise. So, yeah, everything's back to normal in Cincinnati. Next stop: AFC North title. Obviously.

The term "jumping the shark" jumped the shark a few years ago, but dated references aside, it perfectly describes Chad Javon Ochocinco. When Chad first began acting out -- silly touchdown celebrations sandwiched between sillier sound bites uttered through gold fronts -- we all thought it was funny.

Like when a puppy nips at your hand in between tail-chasing sessions -- it's harmless and cute. Except that it becomes less so when, four months later, the dog is chewing through everything in the house and you end up putting him on doggy Prozac.

That's Mr. Ochocinco.

For a long time, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry has only been known because of his off-field behavior. He became a poster boy of sorts for the Bengals' problems, actually getting cut at one point last year, then signed again a few months later.

As Henry prepares for his fifth NFL season, it appears that the light is starting to flicker for the former West Virginia star. Teammates and coaches are praising Henry, saying he's having the best offseason of his career.

I doubt anyone was truly surprised on Sunday when the Cincinnati Bengals announced their sixth-round pick.

Yes, Abilene Christian running back Bernard Scott is a talented football player. However, it's worth noting that the Bengals seem to have once again ignored the rap sheet of a player before using a draft pick on him. As Ryan Wilson pointed out Sunday, Scott has been arrested on at least five separate occasions, and actually hit a coach during one of his college stops.

There used to be a point, probably during the 2007 offseason, when I might've been surprised had the Bengals acquired another player with a criminal record. By that time, 10 Bengals had been arrested in the previous 14 months, and owner Mike Brown pledged to stock the team with solid citizens.

That didn't last long. The club released Chris Henry prior to the 2008 NFL draft only to re-sign him four months later (against head coach Marvin Lewis' better judgment, it should be noted). And today, their latest acquisition only seems fitting: Tank Johnson, ex-Cook County Jail resident and former Cowboys castoff is now a member of the Bengals. Of course he is.

Back during Super Bowl week, Bengals receiver Chad Ocho Cinco said he would take part in all team off-season activities.

Instead of believing he had turned over a new leaf, most were skeptical. After all, the wide receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson has made a habit out of marching to the beat of his own drummer. Seemingly, no one in Cincinnati believed him, as there appears to be zero surprise to the fact that Ocho Cinco is a no-show for the start of voluntary workouts.

On Monday, the Seahawks signed T.J. Houshmandzadeh to a five-year, $40 million deal. Great news for Seattle -- Matt Hasselbeck will finally have a legit pass-catching threat (a seldom-healthy Deion Branch doesn't count) -- but the Bengals were suddenly down to Chad Ocho Cinco in the reliable wide receiver department. (Yikes.)

Apparently, the thought of starting the season with Chris Henry, Jerome Simpson and Andre Caldwell was enough to motivate historically cheap Bengals owner Mike Brown into action, presumably at the behest of head coach Marvin Lewis. Whatever the impetus, Cincy has a new-old Houshmandzadeh: Laveranues Coles. Via NFL.com's Adam Schefter, Coles signed a four-year, $28 million contract.

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At one point during the NFL Network's 55 hours of Super Bowl week coverage, Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson made his way on set. The conversation, inevitably, focused on Mr. Ocho Cinco's ploy to change his name, as well as his sometimes rocky relationship with head coach Marvin Lewis.

But Johnson was also asked about teammate T.J. Houshmandzadeh -- who is scheduled to be a free agent next month -- and whether his future is in Cincy. Chad adamantly assured co-host Deion Sanders that Housh would indeed be back because (and I'm paraphrasing here), "he loves playing for the Bengals and he loves playing with me."

In 2005, the Bengals won 11 regular season games and were division champions. It was Marvin Lewis' third year in Cincinnati, and it looked like he had accomplished the impossible: saving this franchise from itself.

And then Kim von Oelhoffen happened. The Bengals would blow a 10-point lead to the Steelers in the wild-card round, and never really regain their bearings. They've averaged just over six wins a season since that playoff appearance, and Carson Palmer battled back from a serious knee injury three years ago only to suffer a serious elbow injury in September.

As has been the case since, well, the Ravens relocated from Cleveland back in '96, this team is only as good as its defense. That was never more evident than during the 2000 Super Bowl run. Eight years later, Baltimore is 60 minutes away from the championship game thanks largely to its defense. Shocking, I know.

Unlike the '00 team, this year's version has some semblance of an offense. Trent Dilfer was game-manager-tastic, and one of Brian Billick's biggest mistakes as head coach was releasing Dilfer to bring in Elvis Grbac. But new offensive coordinator Cam Cameron has done a fabulous job of protecting Joe Flacco (did you know he's the first rookie to ever win TWO playoff games!?) with a punishing running game and play-action passes.

Flacco isn't easily rattled, and that quality has served him well. But he's also benefited from the knowledge that the Ravens can score 14 points a game and win. The defense held opponents to fewer than two touchdowns 10 times during the regular season, and have allowed just nine and 10 points in two playoff games. Not too shabby.