FanHouse Michael Bradley

David Beckham can hawk his signature cologne in our department stores, including Macy's in New York, where an employee followed me down an aisle and sprayed some of Becks' metrosexual potion on me. But soccer? He'd much rather play in Europe than in our league, which explains all you need to know about the game's place in America.

In the stateside food chain of professional sports, men's soccer has been a can of Spam. If you have absolutely nothing better to eat, you nibble. It isn't so true on the women's side, where Mia Hamm and the golden girls captivated a nation for years and Brandi Chastain gave us a landmark moment for feminism by stripping down to her sports bra.

But the men? The quality of play has been so maligned that Giuseppe Rossi, who was born and raised in New Jersey and could have been a major star for our national squad, never even considered Team USA. In his teen years, he tapped into his dual citizenship and signed up with Italy, a global football power.

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After what must be the most unlikely turn of events in American soccer history, the beleaguered national team with the supposedly incompetent coach and heartless, out-of-form players has survived to play another day. A surprisingly comprehensive 3-0 defeat of African champions Egypt in Rustenburg, combined with Brazil's 3-0 win over reeling Italy, has qualified the U.S. for the Confederations Cup semifinals.

Spain, the European champion juggernaut on the 35-game unbeaten streak, awaits on Wednesday. But let concern over that Herculean task wait until Monday. For the first time since the 2007 CONCACAF Gold Cup final, Bob Bradley and the U.S. national team rose to the occasion and, on this day, certainly deserve passage.

Every Monday during the PGA Tour season, Monday Pin Placement will run as a wrap-up of the weekend's action. Basically, we'll focus on what you missed while you were out grinding on the putting green.

Mickelson Toughs It Out -- You don't usually see "tough" and "Phil Mickelson" in the same sentence. His lone shining moment under pressure was at the 2004 Masters, when he rolled in a birdie putt on the last hole for his first major championship. Otherwise, he has never been that dominant in the high stress environment of the Ryder Cup, and his additional attempts at "clutch" have ended with "fore left" at Winged Foot and final-hole major losses to David Toms (2001 PGA Championship) and Payne Stewart (1999 U.S. Open).

Well, on Sunday, at a tournament he had never won, on a golf course he had never conquered, Mickelson had to be tough. And tough he was.

Hi. I was at Soldier Field for the USA-Brazil friendly today and have just returned. I'm tired. I haven't had the benefit of replay to see if the USA deserved a penalty after the Heath Pearce bomb or if the Ronaldinho free kick was set up by a legit foul or not. Also I'm not entirely sure about who did well and who didn't because of the being there thing. But we soldier on anyway. Compensation: pictures of fans tomorrow.

Well, for a few minutes the USA led Brazil; we took a picture of the scoreboard. And then, later, for like a minute, the USA had tied Brazil 2-2; we did not but should have taken a picture of the scoreboard. And even though the game ended 4-2 to the bad, the USA acquitted itself pretty well against Freakin' Brazil, standing up to the generally acclaimed best team ever in the history of anything about as well as you could expect a bunch of dudes with a tenth of Ronaldinho's talent between them. Heck, we should get like three goals for the sweet Dempsey strike, and if you could the Onyewu own goal for us -- we scored it, after all -- the final was like 6-3, USA, which is cool.

But that's about as realistic as all those overheated "the USA will win the World Cup by 2010" predictions that popped up after 94 and then in 2002. Six years on from the latest round of unrealistic expectations, it's clear that the USA remains a threat to get out of any group that isn't the Group of Death, but do little else. The performance today was both encouraging and a stark reminder that the best answer for "when will the USA win the World Cup?" is "never." That's life as a USA soccer fan; fun can be had anyway.

After the jump: boxes! Sweet.