FanHouse Michael Irvin

Recently, some happy-go-lucky Dallas Cowboys fans christened the team's new stadium by gettin' busy in a Burger King Jerry Dome bathroom while the Cowboys were gettin' busy all over my beloved (and pathetic!) Carolina Panthers.

Everyone's seen this homemade porno, too (Deadspin's -- obviously NSFW -- post topped 200k views in short order). And when I say "everyone" I really mean that -- even Jerry Jones, whose money, fame and insanity unwittingly played a role in sexing up Cowboys Stadium, managed to sneak a peek at the pair of hardcore Michael Irvin fans knockin' sneakers (hey, it's Texas, it's either that or cowboy boots).

We're only on the second day of freedom in the Michael Vick melodrama and it's clear that figurative lines are being drawn on the turf. Following his release from federal custody, many fans and journalists have expressed their strong feelings in opposition of Vick's potential return to the NFL.

But there is another side, one which includes some prominent former and current NFL stars, that believes Vick is worthy of a second chance.

Jesse Holley locked up the 80th and final roster spot on the Cowboys by winning Michael Irvin's 4th and Long competition on Monday night. Holley, a wide receiver who was also a member of the Tar Heels' 2005 national championship basketball team, beat out receiver Andrew Hawkins and defensive backs Eddie Moten and Ahmaad Smith for the coveted prize.

Now I know what you might be thinking -- there is no way he sticks with the team. But for Holley, this is still a very special opportunity and he seems extremely grateful to have it.

If the television thing doesn't work out for Cris Carter, he's got a future in motivational speaking. Carter was the final speaker at this week's NFL Rookie Symposium, and his message was what you might expect -- don't do drugs, don't fall for groupies, don't start a dog-fighting enterprise, so on and so forth -- but his delivery was what made it memorable.

It was part overdramatized reality teevee, part televangelist. No mention of living in a van down by the river, however. Either way, I think he got through to almost everybody.

On Thursday, we speculated about the possibility of Michael Crabtree being available when Green Bay picks ninth in the NFL Draft.

While many observers would probably double over in laughter if Green Bay actually made this selection, there is precedence for it in the Packers' own division. According to Bob McGinn of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the Packers may indeed pull the trigger if Crabtree is on the board.

In previous lives, before Matt Millen spent eight years running the Lions' franchise into the ground, he was a Pro Bowl linebacker and four-time Super Bowl winner. And after his football career, Millen was part of the No. 2 broadcast team for the NFL on Fox, and was also the color commentator for Monday Night Football on West Wood One.

Up to the moment he accepted the Lions gig, he was considered a good player and a great analyst. Which is why it wasn't totally surprising that he got back into commentating after William Clay Ford finally got around to firing him. Unfortunately, a large segment of the NFL-viewing population couldn't separate Millen the analyst from Millen the bumbling front office type.

For the Dallas Cowboys, a team that entered 2008 with Super Bowl expectations only to finish the year with nine wins and no playoffs, there haven't been many changes this offseason. The defensive coordinator and special teams coach were fired and Pacman Jones was released.

Other than that, though, not much has changed. Not 'til combine week, anyway. Jerry Jones slapped his coaching staff with a gag order -- nobody can talk to the media "independently" -- because, as the Dallas Morning News' Todd Archer writes, the Cowboys owner "has been upset with what he feels have been inaccurate stories this offseason."

Ever since the day Brett Favre originally "retired", Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has been in quite the pressure cooker. While his team did indeed finish the season 6-10, Rodgers played quite well. He also got to show his toughness by playing through a potentially nasty shoulder injury.

Rodgers vacationed for a time after the season ended, but has been in Tampa this week for Super Bowl festivities. Earlier in the week, he stopped by a radio show co-hosted by Hall of Fame wide receiver Michael Irvin. Instead of begging for a tryout with the Cowboys, Rodgers sat down with Irvin and Kevin Kiley to talk about the season. Oh, and Brett Favre.

TAMPA, Fla. -- A harsh dose of reality was injected into the festive atmosphere of the Super Bowl this morning when about three dozen retired players met with the media to promote the Gridiron Greats, an organization that provides financial assistance to retired NFL players who left the game with serious injuries.

Everyone who follows football knows that players often leave the game with permanent disabilities, and that even the lucky ones can usually point to a knee, hip, elbow or shoulder that bears surgical scars and still causes them pain. But seeing all these former players gathered in one room brought the point home: At one point during the press conference, the ex-players were asked if they were in physical pain just sitting there. Almost all of them said they were.

The best humor is truthful and writes itself.

So, in the latest Dallas Cowboys circus news, Michael Irvin will be hosting a reality TV show this offseason that picks the last spot in Cowboys training camp. The producers behind the show "The Biggest Loser" are developing it.

No details have been released on what they will make contestants do. I was going to speculate as to whether a criminal record was required, but things have been so embarrassing for Dallas fans of late, I feel like that is piling on.