FanHouse Mjd

During the NFL draft, Yahoo Sports blogger Matthew J. Darnell, better known as MJD, wrote this about ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson's wardrobe:

". . . This is what happens when you hand Michael Irvin a giant blunt that had been soaked in embalming fluid for about a month, and then you say to him, "Mike, I want you to take an hour, smoke that, and then pick what I'm going to wear for the draft tomorrow. And if you could make the area from my neck to my chest look like a cracked-open watermelon, I'd really appreciate it. . . "

The bosses at Yahoo felt that those comments crossed the line, and they were taken down.

Generally, I don't care much for mock drafts. Yeah, they are nice about educating people about the players and looking at team needs, but by this time, I'm pretty sick of them. Most drafts are put together by people who think they know more than they really do. I am even sick of the FanHouse mock draft.

The most genius mock draft that you need to see is the one written by MJD over at the Yahoo! Shutdown Corner blog. It's an mock from an imaginary Detroit GM Matt Millen picking his first round:

16. Arizona Cardinals.
Ruth Westheimer, Ed.D., Germany. This is just a hunch, and I don't have any evidence to back it up, but I don't think it's going to be long before Matt Leinart becomes sexually active. And when he does, I'm sure he'll be very responsible about it, but just in case, we're going to get him a sexual advisor.

At this point, maybe Detroit fans wish Matt Millen were imaginary, but this is the best I can do.

Another place to go online to see mocking of mocks is Kissing Suzy Kolber. They've done a series of funny entries called Fun With Mock Drafts (language/picture warning because that's the way they roll.) It's not like you have anything better to do. I mean, you are reading this, aren't you?

Super Bowl Swag takes a look at Super Bowl merchandise that has been available through the years, some of it awesome, some of it very non-awesome.

Look at this thing. I don't even know where to start. Who out there is wearing Super Bowl merchandise that shows support not for one of the game's participants, but for the actual game itself? When is this conversation taking place?

Regular Guy: Hey, nice jersey. You a Bears fan?
Guy Wearing Dumb Jersey: No. Not really.
Regular Guy Colts fan?
Guy Wearing Dumb Jersey: No.
Regular Guy: Well, who do you like?
Guy Wearing Dumb Jersey: I just like the Super Bowl.
Regular Guy: You mean, you hope it's a good game?
Guy Wearing Dumb Jersey: No, I don't really care about that. I just support the event itself. I like the "XLI" Roman numerals. I like the logo. I like the promotion involved with the game.
Regular Guy: I'll be beating the hell out of you now.

I can kind of understand where the guy's coming from, supporting the Super Bowl ... but myself, I'm partial to Week 11. I can't wait until NFLShop.com comes out with those Week 11 jerseys. I am a proud supporter of Week 11 and all that it represents.

And even if you can get past the notion of someone just rooting for the Super Bowl, even if that seems normal to you ... look at this thing. Red at the top, fading into orange at the bottom, blue sleeve stripes, white accents ... and the logos of all the past Super Bowls patterned into the fabric. This thing is a visual nightmare.

If Bea Arthur was standing nude in my living room right now, and I had a choice of her staying nude, or putting on this jersey ... it would be a tough call. This jersey is that unappealing to me.

The sad part is that poor African children are going to be wearing these for decades to come, because that's where the NFL is going to ship them when they don't sell any. Just $124.99.

• Joey Porter calls Kellen Winslow Jr. a three-letter word that starts with "f" and rhymes with "bag." Here's video. And I know what you're thinking, but that picture up there is not meant to imply anything.

• Under center for the Panthers Sunday: Chris Weinke.

• People in Texas have taken to calling the Texans/Titans game the "Vince Bowl." That's a little sad.

• Ladell Betts gets papered up by the Redskins, which could signify a philosophy change for Redskins management.

• Unfreezing the tundra at Lambeau.

• Tom Brady is suing Yahoo! I wouldn't have used that exclamation point if I didn't have to.

• Junior Seau won't stop playing football until all the blood is drained from his body.

• The Texans will be displaying their male virility this weekend.

• The Jets and Giants are getting a $300 million gift from the NFL for a new stadium. Merry Christmas, indeed.