FanHouse Monday Morning Coffee

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

Our long national nightmare is almost over, friends. Football begins this week. And yes, Week 1 is usually full of cupcakes, MACrifices, and the dreaded I-A/I-AA matchups. Either you win by 50 and the status quo remains the same, you only win by a handful and the panic sets in early, or ALL LIVING HELL BREAKS LOOSE.



When Appalachian State isn't saving boaters' lives or dropping incredible Gladiator references on a stunned Ann Arbor Crowd, they're out there taking on the college football universe with a limitless, unwavering drive. And really, after taking out Michigan, they had almost no choice but to bring on LSU; after all, what else are they going to say? "Today, Michigan! Tomorrow... North Texas!"? It doesn't really fly.

Cheers to you, Mountaineers. If you bring in 2008 at all like you did 2007, we are all in for another year of sweet, glorious anarchy.

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

In the wake of the Josh Jarboe farce debacle traveshamockery, one would expect that colleges would be comically wary of any, any association between their players and the dreaded rap music. But young men are young men, and here we have not just one, but several collegians on camera, on YouTube, rapping. This time, they're from--wait, what? Utah? Oh no.



Jarboe's coach said it was "a cultural thing" when Jarboe decided to lay down his unfortunate lyrics, and after seeing this, we are absolutely in agreement. "We're not in it for the money/we're not in it for the fame/we're just in it to win it/for the love of the game" is a rhyme that... well, that probably doesn' t get dropped in at least 47 of the 50 states in the Union. Culture, you know.

We're only treated to two verses from rap's next great outfit, Utes 2 Men*, sadly. We're sure, though, that their debut album will feature such songs as "Straight Outta Ogden," "My Keds," and an absolutely devastating a cappella rendition of "My Favorite Things."

*That's definitely not their real name, but it should be.

[Terrorist Fist Jab: YBB]

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

College football fans who hadn't seen the 1985 Oklahoma-Nebraska game would have been mildly surprised to see an easy 27-7 victory for the Sooners (Nebraska's only score came on a fumble return in the last minute of play). They would have been even more surprised to see the following notation in the scoring summary:

TD: K. Jackson 88 yd run

Jackson, of course, is a tight end, and 99% of the time, the only way they're running 88 yards is if they slept through class and the head coach is exacting punishment. But this is all-everything TE Keith Jackson, and this is the best tight end reverse in the play's brief but beautiful history. We do not recommend this trying this at home with your team's tight end.



Yes, that was also Keith Jackson calling the play. The odds of the two Keiths being related are about negative a billion percent.

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

The Pitt Panthers are heading into the 2008 season buoyed by a strong returning team and a stunning upset of likely title contenders West Virginia to finish their 2007 campaign. It's rather unfamiliar territory for Pitt fans under the age of 30, as Pitt has spent the last 20 years somewhere between "mediocre" and "punchline." Yes, Pitt went to a BCS Bowl in 2004, but they were smoked by Utah, finished ranked #25, and were generally regarded as the worst team in BCS history until Hawaii redefined "suck" last year. Oh, and their coach is known best for his inconsistent facial hair.

Things weren't always so bad for Panthers, though. Back in the late 70s and early 80s, they featured guys like Dan Marino, Tony Dorsett, and the man who (sorry, Michigan fans) most deserved to be the first defensive Heisman winner, Hugh Green. Though the Panthers would never capture the MNC in the era, they came awfully close. Here, they face Georgia in the 1980 Sugar Bowl.



Yes, that's the Jackie Sherrill. This would be his last game coaching for Pitt, moving on to coach at Texas A&M for a then-record $1.7 million over 6 years (seriously, that was a record). He resigned among controversy in 1988, leaving the Aggies in smoldering, NCAA-sanctioned ruins. After three years away from the game, Sherrill stepped in as head coach at Mississippi State in 1991. He stayed for 12 seasons, leaving the Bulldogs in (surprise!) even worse, smoldering, NCAA-sanctioned ruins. He does, however, make the bowtie "work."

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

The most infuriating opponent in Big XII history may be Seneca Wallace, the juco transfer quarterback for Iowa State in 2001 and 2002. While guys like Vince Young and Tommie Frazier were surrounded by unbelievable talent (and have the rings to show for it), Wallace single-handedly propelled ISU to victory on numerous occasions, all while playing with a reckless abandon that usually caused opponents' fans to yell things like, "TACKLE HIM TACKLE HIM AAAAGGGHAGHGH" as he turns a sack into a gain of 17.

On this play, Wallace is flushed out of the pocket and chased all the way back to the 32-yard line, a full 20 yards behind scrimmage. Defenders have pinned him near the sideline, and all that remains is the simple task of bringing him down.



Um, Texas Tech? EPIC FAIL, sirs. Take special note of the defender at :23 as he throws himself at nothing in particular, like he's a character in NCAA '09 being controlled by someone who's really terrible.

Iowa State would go on to win 31-17 to improve to 6-1 and enter the Top 10 for the first (and only) time in school history. The next week, they traveled to Norman, Oklahoma to lose to the Sooners in a 49-3 squeaker. They won only one game the rest of the year and haven't sniffed relevancy since. But hey, sweet run.

Start your work week off right with Monday Morning Coffee, where Fanhouse scours YouTube for the finest college football footage available. Either that or we give up after a couple minutes and just post the "I Like Turtles" kid.

For all the insanity that dominated the 2007 college football season, one could reasonably point out that the avalanche of chaos didn't really begin with Appalachian State's win over Michigan, but rather eight months earlier in the Fiesta Bowl. It was there that Adrian Peterson and Oklahoma were toppled in a game with a story arc that only a child could find plausible. We chose this version of the highlights for the music, which is only the second time (first: Arrested Development (pops to audio)) in which it's been used perfectly. Enjoy.



How can you not love that? Except if you're a Sooner fan, of course.