FanHouse Nick Saban

Alabama's offense has mellowed over the past three games.

The Crimson Tide has registered only a pair of rushing touchdowns in victories over Mississippi, South Carolina and Tennessee. Ten trips into the red zone have resulted in eight field goals. The passing game hasn't featured many deep throws, and Alabama's Wildcat offense, which started as a gimmick, has become more relevant.

Third-ranked Alabama realizes it will need a better all-around effort on Saturday to beat No. 9 LSU, the only remaining ranked team on the Crimson Tide's schedule. The Crimson Tide can clinch the SEC West title with a win and would then meet No. 1 Florida on Dec. 5 in the SEC title game.

Alabama figures another quick start will help erase last year's frustrating finish. More specifically, the final five quarters of the 2008 season.

The Crimson Tide opened with 12 consecutive victories and led Florida by three points heading into the fourth quarter of the SEC title game. However, UF scored 14 points in the final 10 minutes and went on to nab the national title, while blind-sided Alabama never recovered and was buried by Utah in the Sugar Bowl.

There's no need to worry about an identity crisis, however. The Tide made a huge statement against Clemson to kick off last season, and they're hoping to do the same this year against defending ACC and Orange Bowl champion Virginia Tech in Atlanta on Sept. 5.

Wednesday, the annual circus known as the SEC Media Days kicks off in Birmingham, Ala. As college football has become a year-round sport, the three media days down in Birmingham have become the official launch date for SEC football fans, a time when our region's football obsession officially begins anew. Even if, you know, it never actually dies. Last season then-Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer arrived and was immediately served with a subpoena in a lawsuit brought by my favorite people on Earth: disassociated Alabama boosters. Getting disassociated from the Alabama football program is like being the only guy in a prison who no one will share a table with.

This season, 25 radio stations will be broadcasting live from inside the event, and over 800 members of the media have been credentialed. It's like Woodstock for people who use the word, goll-durn. And we'll be there for the ride. Goll-durn.

From the "Totally Freaking Obvious" department: Florida Gators coach Urban Meyer, who has won two national championships in the past three seasons, told golfers at a Gainesville benefit tournament, "I'm not going to Notre Dame. Ever. I'm going to be the coach at Florida for a long time, as long as they want me."

In other news, gravity remains in effect and forks are still useful.

In the annals of academic-athletic cheating scandals in college, particularly in the SEC, what Alabama got penalized for on Thursday pales in comparison. After all, Georgia basketball under Jim Harrick several years ago got busted for awarding credits to players who did not attend Harrick's son's class on basketball strategy, which included a test that asked how many halves are in a basketball game.

Upon further contrast, Alabama may even be more worthy of commendation than sanction. This transgression was of players, the biggest offenders being in football, abusing their athletic department's textbook acquisition policy.

Imagine that. Athletes were busted for spending money at a campus bookstore not so much for obtaining more school paraphernalia, mind you, but for procuring recommended textbooks, which is against NCAA rules, rather than just required texts. How about that? At least that is some evidence Alabama athletes are actually trying to pursue the first part of the most famous NCAA phrase: student-athlete.

I don't know if the NCAA will officially release a statement acknowledging that their Web site overloaded this afternoon at 2 PM CT when the penalties against Alabama were posted, but for one hour around that time, it was impossible to access the site.

It would be fascinating to see the data of where the site traffic was coming from. My guess is the state of Alabama in first place, and the state of Tennessee in second place. Third place? The state of Louisiana. Followed by Mississippi and Georgia in fourth and fifth place. Seeing data on a day like this would serve to objectively catalog the relative hate and strength of rivalries in the Southland once and for all. But that's too much to ask, the NCAA can't even keep their Web site functioning. This was the message on the front page of the site:

NCAA.org is experiencing temporary technical problems. Please try again in a few minutes. Some services can still be accessed through the links below.

Its a day late but definitely not a dollar short, as the NCAA will reportedly come down on Alabama to the tune of an unknown number of vacated football victories between 2005 and 2007, three additional years of probation and a cash penalty, according to the Birmingham News.

Alabama football players and athletes in several other sports were involved in a prohibited textbook and materials disbursement scheme. It's seemingly benign stuff compared to recent allegations against Memphis and USC, but this is Alabama we're talking about, which seems to have its Brooks Was Here moment every time it finds itself paroled.

It's come to this, Alabama fans are tailgating outside of a new play based on Bear Bryant's life. Which is an improvement over what they would have been doing if Mike Shula was still coach, lighting themselves on fire with their red and white pom-pons in the parking lot. The play, entitled Bear Country, will be playing at Birmingham's Shakespeare Festival from August 6-20. It's already debuted to rave reviews and sellouts in Montgomery, Ala. In honor of the Bear, I decided that nothing would make more sense than a play about four fans tailgating before Bear's play begins. So here goes.

Characters:

Dale -- A 45-year old owner of an auto-body repair shop who fixes cars while wearing a houndstooth cap. His first child was named Bear, his second was named Bryant. He is now divorced.

It's been an eventful offseason for SEC football. The addition of Lane Kiffin to the coaching ranks gave the conference another huge name. Instead of taking his lumps at Tennessee after the disastrous end to the Phil Fulmer era, Kiffin came out swinging.

Not only did he and his staff work to sign a top-ten recruiting class, but Kiffin also managed to alienate virtually everyone outside of the Volunteers fan base.

Michael Lewis's opus The Blind Side is currently filming in Atlanta and slated for release on November 20, 2009. The book recently received a jolt of interest when the primary subject of the story, Ole Miss offensive tackle Michael Oher, who rises from a hardscrabble existence in Memphis to become the top offensive tackle in the nation, was drafted in the first round by the Baltimore Ravens. A major portion of the story focuses on the top-ranked Oher's recruitment by three men: then-LSU coach Nick Saban, then-Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer, and then-Ole Miss coach Ed Orgeron. It's a recruiting battle for the ages.

Two weeks ago Bruce Feldman reported that Orgeron would play himself in the movie. Now I can report that Phil Fulmer will be playing himself, having traveled down to Atlanta this past Friday to film his scenes with Sandra Bullock. All that remains to be determined is whether Nick Saban is playing himself. And wouldn't that be great if Saint Nick donned the purple and gold to reprise his role for the film?