FanHouse Petergammons

I want to see Peter Gammons interview Chris Brown.

Gammons: "Chris, you beat the crap out of your girlfriend, put her in the hospital, and bit her on the arm. Was it hard filming those Doublemint Gum commercials?"

Brown: "It has been a difficult time for all of us" etc.

Anyway, nothing we could write would be as easy-going and predictable as the actual Gammons/Rodriguez interview, so tonight's Dugout is just me copy and pasting text from the transcript into the field next to the images. Just try to picture Pete gnawing on his upper lip like he does while you read.

While most would agree that publicly admitting and apologizing for taking steroids while in Texas was the best move Alex Rodriguez could have made, even if it was just an "I'm sorry that I got caught" admission, there has still been some trouble stemming from the admission. For Rodriguez, he's taken some grief about making claims that Selena Roberts was stalking him, and had even broken into his house.

Those allegations have even gotten Peter Gammons in trouble for not making Rodriguez explain the comments or at least show some proof. Though now we're finding out why Rodriguez might not have any evidence to show, because according to the police, there are no such records of anything ever happening.

Before Sports Illustrated published their accusation that Alex Rodriguez failed a steroid test, Selena Roberts gave him a chance to tell his side of the story. He refused, waiting for the news to break before admitting the allegations were true in a televised interview with ESPN's Peter Gammons. Why did he wait?

I think it's obvious. Aside from any grudge he may have against Roberts for writing a soon-to-be-published biography about him, he must have known that she would be looking for specific details to verify information received from anonymous sources. In other words, she'd be practicing actual journalism.

Alex Rodriguez confessed to using "a banned substance" on national television earlier today, as Snyder mentioned previously. What follows is a snippet of the interview between A-Rod and Peter Gammons.

On Monday, the great Peter Gammons sat down for an interview with Alex Rodriguez to discuss his 2003 positive steroid test and the recent report leaking the information. ESPN will air the interview in full on Monday night's SportsCenter, but have previewed a portion in which A-Rod verified that the report, and the initial test's results, were both accurate, and that his use was voluntary. (See video here)

Incredibly, Cuban's plan seems to have worked. Selig has no backbone and gives in to Cuban's ludicrous demands, rather than attempt to fight him. After Selig and Cuban hash out a deal for the transfer of the Cubs, Cuban looks at you and says, "So, how can I keep you quiet about all this?"

"Six years. $180 million," you reply.

"Done."

Just like that, you're a Cub. As it turns out, Chicago is the best place in the world for you. You hit 42 home runs in Wrigley, and the Bleacher Bums love you. They toast you and, heck, you bring them cans of Old Style between innings. Lou Piniella didn't seem too happy when you shot-gunned a can out there one hot night in July, but you went 4-for-5 that night. What was he going to do?

Then, when you go 2-for-19 in the 2009 NLDS, they blame a goat! Sure, you jogged down to first base when you could've beaten out a double-play ball that ultimately costs the Cubs the NLCS, but the Cubs will NEVER win a World Series, so how could it be your fault?

And that time in the 2011 World Series when you struck out looking with the bases loaded in bottom of the ninth in Game 7 with the Cubs down two runs, that was totally the fault of the poor guy sitting just above the net in left field, who had what looked like a sure-fire grand slam off of your bat earlier in the game ricochet off his head and on to the field, only to have the call of "single" (you were admiring your blast, of course) inexplicably upheld after a 20-minute conference around the instant replay monitor. The poor guy went into a coma while Cubs' fans burnt his house down, blaming him for not catching the ball. You got a free cab ride home.

Cuban doesn't it like it when you do things like that either, but you constantly remind him that you have Peter Gammons on speed dial and he'd be very interested to learn about the Antarctic kidnapping. After three years in Chicago, you retire. You go to ESPN and tell the story of how Mark Cuban kidnapped you and blackmailed baseball into giving him the Cubs to a very befuddled Bob Ley on Outside the Lines. It's likely that not one person in the country believes your story, but you don't really care.

You spend your retirement hosting ice-fishing shows on Versus, who tried to capitalize on your Outside the Lines appearance, and by selling defective cornball-making devices on late-night infomercials. And of course, teaching Manny Jr. how to hit home runs.

THE END.

(Not sure how you got here? Start Choose Your Own Adventure: Manny Being Choosey in Free Agency from the beginning.)

I usually wouldn't waste more than a nanosecond even thinking about Gregg Doyel. I quit reading him years ago because he seems to think the sports journalism world is a professional wrestling outfit. You see, he's playing the "bad guy" (heel, as they call it in the wrestling biz). His gimmick (the part he plays) is of that guy that simply writes things to piss people off. The more negative comments and e-mails he receives, the better -- then he gets to run his hate mail column!

(I have no idea if he still does this because I quit reading him -- but he used to print hateful emails he received and he'd google the people's names and expose their professions. Something like, "you're a banker in a hicktown, what do you know?" It was an exercise that reeked of small man's syndrome.)

Anyway, the reason I'm here now is that I made a mistake last night. I saw the obviously-baiting headline, "Fix the World Series? Why Bother with America's Afterthought?" and clicked on it. I screamed about as loud as I do when I hear "Saved by Zero." Then I noticed it was a Doyel article. I can't bear the thought that I gave a page hit to this dude.

Manny Ramirez does many, many weird things. Many weird things. Oddly enough, however, shameless self promotion usually isn't one of them.So it's not even that shocking to hear him tell reporters that he wants nothing to do with the Most Valuable Player award.

Seriously, please don't give it to him.

"It's nice that some people think I deserve it," Ramirez said. "I'd like to win it. But I have to be realistic. Someone who was only here for two months doesn't deserve it. It should go to someone who played the six months of the season."

Ramirez said he has resigned himself to the reality that he might never win an MVP award.

"I've played 16 years, I've been a pretty good player and I've never won it," he said. "It's not a big deal. I'll go on with my life."

Now, for the most part, Manny is right. He doesn't deserve to win it. But not because he's only played a half season in the NL.

And I could make the same argument that I made for CC Sabathia re: half season, playoff fortunes, difference maker, etc., except well ... for this from Gammons.

It's hard to talk about the MVP Award for Manny when the team that paid the Dodgers to take Ramirez is 27-13 without him through Sunday and have seen their runs per game increase from 4.94 at the time of the deal to 6.22 since.

Yes, yes it is. As good as the Dodgers have been ... well, the Red Sox have been better. And Manny's seen that, so he knows that while he makes a tremendous difference in the NL West, it's not like the Dodgers have been white hot the entire time. Or, you know, are a guarantee to finish above .500

In our country's history of bizarre endorsements, I don't think Peter Gammons calling Mark Cuban's purchase of the Cubs a "great fit" is quite as shocking as say, Hunter S. Thompson rising from the grave to declare the need for another four years of Dubya, but it's pretty bizarre.

Gammons is as old school as it gets in baseball, but according to his most recent blog post, he wholeheartedly endorses Cuban as Cubs owner, despite the possibility that there may be forces (the obviously evil and heartless Commissioner Bud Selig) working against him.

But there is increasing speculation that Sam Zell, the chairman and chief executive officer of the Tribune Company, is not going to allow the Commissioner's Office to puppeteer the sale, and that Mark Cuban is in this thing far deeper than Selig and White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf want to believe. NBA commissioner David Stern has told those associated with Cubs that Cuban is one of the NBA's best partners, and everyone appreciates that Cuban understands fans and marketing, and is one of the creative pioneers of the world of new media and would create a tremendous buzz throughout baseball that would be nothing but beneficial to the industry.

Nothing about Cuban is surprising anymore ... except perhaps that David Stern is giving him positive reviews. I kid, I kid. Kind of.

Cuban and Stern have gone head to head on plenty of stuff in his tenure as Dallas Mavericks owner, but the fact that he turned the team around and continues to be an innovative owner, desperately trading for Jason Kidd aside.

Yesterday Josh told you about Frank Thomas and his less than happy feelings after being told by Blue Jays manager John Gibbons that he'd be seeing a lot less playing time in the future. Frank said the move was definitely based more on his contract (Frank was scheduled to get a $10 million option if he reached 376 at bats this season), and that there was no way his career was going to "end like this."

Well, Hurt's playing career may not yet be over, but his career in Toronto is. The Blue Jays released him this morning.

Blue Jays general manager J.P. Ricciardi told ESPN's Peter Gammons that the release of Thomas was "by mutual consent. He doesn't want to be here if he's not going to play much, and we don't want him to be unhappy. He handled it with class, and I appreciate that."

As far as Thomas' initial benching, I gotta say, I agree with Frank on this one. We're only a few weeks into the season, and 60 at bats is nowhere near large enough of a sample size to judge how a player is going to perform for an entire season. Especially when that player is only one of four players in the history of the sport to have a career average over .300, hit 500 homers, drive in 1,500 runs, draw over 1,500 walks, and score over 1,000 runs. Oh, and he led the team in home runs and RBI's last season.

You would think that a general manager like J.P. Ricciardi, one who definitely uses numbers in his analysis of players, knows that. Which is why I agree that this was more of a money move than a baseball move. The fact they released him only confirms it in my opinion.

If I were Frank though, I wouldn't worry about finding a new home. Anybody who was even rumored to be thinking about signing Barry Bonds will probably take a shot at Thomas since there's no headache surrounding him. Frank's probably going to be getting some calls from Tampa Bay, Seattle, and Kansas City amongst others.