When asked to name the Major League Baseball player who most resembles Allen Iverson, Detroit Tiger and fellow Lynchburg, Va. alumni Brandon Inge wouldn't be at the top of the list. But here we are in September and those forearm tattoos he got back in August still haven't worn off. If the Tiger manage to make the playoffs, he should compete in a retro headband and a big arm-sized glove that makes him look like Sally Jupiter.
As the race for the AL Central heads into the home stretch, it is important to analyze these tattoos and see how they match up with the rest of the division. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout favorites Jim Thome and Manny Ramirez have taken a break from danging dingers together on the playoff-bound Los Angeles Dodgers to travel the country and possibly fictional dreamscape lands to reuinte the 1997 Cleveland Indians and right the wrongs of the 97 World Series. The quest is almost complete, and now we learn what happened in the MLB Journeyman Chatroom, and where the dynamic twosome are headed next.
Part 6 of The Dugout: It's Tribe Time Now is after the jump.
Welcome to part five of our apparently 30-part series about how Jim Thome and Manny Ramirez play for the same team, just like when they were part of the 1997 World Series challenging Cleveland Indians.
Once you have caught up on the previous four parts, remember that none of this is newsworthy and that we've ingratiated ourselves enough at Fanhouse by this point to occasionally make the casual reader here to discuss how he feels about Prince Fielder's baseball-disgracing shirt tuck think we are on crack. Is this a real chat??? Part 5 of 30 is after the jump.
Wednesday night's loss to the White Sox didn't help the Royals' playoff chances one bit. It was a sobering night for Royals fans, who now have to come to terms with the possibility that their team might not be playing baseball late into October.
This team can still make it this year, though, if they do a few things right. There's a very strong possibility that today's Dugout is after the jump.
Google has rendered private detectives largely unnecessary. The video game revolution has brought tough times upon jump rope manufacturers. And now, as Lackey reports, a pair of baseball-playing robots have been built. Yes, it's only a matter of time before today's baseball players are disenfranchised for the benefit of a weird-looking arm thing that sits on a table and chucks a baseball.
More to the point, though: never, ever let bots into chat rooms. Your Dugout is after the jump.
In a ridiculous but true story we couldn't possibly make up, Kansas City Royals relief pitcher Kyle Farnsworth continued his 2009 Farewell to the Major Leagues Tour today by having to get four stitches in his left index finger after being bitten by one of his dogs. According to the report, he was bitten while trying to break up a fight between the canines, but anybody who has ever read a Dugout knows that is totally NOT what he was doing, and chances are it was something even more absurd that what you are about to read.
Sometimes Barry Bonds dresses up like Paula Abdul, sometimes Jim Thome hits a game-winning home run on Opening Day, and sometimes Kyle Farnsworth gets bitten by a dog. Thank you, God, for having a sense of humor. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
So far, The Dugout has established three relatively static "straight man" characters on the Royals: pitchers Zack Greinke, Brian Bannister, and Joakim Soria. This season, of course, they're joined by perennial Dugout man-children Kyle Farnsworth and Sidney Ponson. So we can say that the Royals have a Full House, Aces full of Jokers, and shovel this terrible poker-centric joke on top of the massive pile of poker-centric jokes that the Royals have had to suffer over the years.
The season ends, and I get depressed. But the offseason still needs Dugouts, so I bust "A" and work hard to find stories and interesting situations for Dugouts throughout the offseason, when no baseball is occuring and everything is heresay and conjecture. Five months go by and we've done 2,000 Dugouts about (essentially) nothing. We keep saying, "Man, I can't wait until the season starts, and doing Dugouts will be easier!"
Then the season starts. Suddenly, it is three weeks later and we've been sitting on our butts loving baseball. We turn to our left, see our computer, go "OH CRAP THE DUGOUT" and spend the entire season making up for the first month we missed.
Oh, and I almost forgot: tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
Last Wednesday, esteemed reader Craig pointed me to a statistical pile of manure:
You realize the Royals are 7-6, but 6-1 in games that Kyle Farnsworth has not appeared in?
Entering Saturday, the Royals are now 8-2 without him. The Royals haven't been 8-2 in any context since, like, 1207. As a Royals fan and unconditional Farnsworth apologist, this is difficult for me to accept. It doesn't make sense. My guess is that they only trot Farnsworth out there because he's insufferable to be around in the bullpen. At least, that's what I've learned from spying on his chat room conversations over the last five years or so.
There is no greater time than the beginning of baseball season, especially when you write for a sports blog and you happen to be so beloved by the Christian God that he manipulates the happenstance of professional sports to make your feature better.
That's exactly what happened today, when the Kansas City Royals opened up their season in Chicago against the White Sox. If you don't know what happened, allow me to set the stage. The White Sox and Royals were supposed to open the season on Monday, but the conditions weren't perfect and the stars weren't aligned, and a bitter cold forced them to postpone the game for a day. The Royals were up 2-1, but when the White Sox came up to bat in the eighth... well, I'll let you read about it, because hahaha
The 2009 Dugout Season starts tonight, after the jump.
When asked to name the Major League Baseball player who most resembles Allen Iverson, Detroit Tiger and fellow Lynchburg, Va. alumni Brandon Inge wouldn't be at the top of the list. But here we are in September and those forearm tattoos he got back in August still haven't worn off. If the Tiger manage to make the playoffs, he should compete in a retro headband and a big arm-sized glove that makes him look like Sally Jupiter. 
Welcome to part five of our apparently 30-part series about how 
Wednesday night's loss to the 
Google has rendered private detectives largely unnecessary. The video game revolution has brought tough times upon jump rope manufacturers. And now, 
In a ridiculous but true story we couldn't possibly make up, Kansas City Royals relief pitcher 
So far, The Dugout has established three relatively static "straight man" characters on the 
This seriously happens to me every year.
Last Wednesday, esteemed reader Craig pointed me to a statistical pile of manure:
There is no greater time than the beginning of baseball season, especially when you write for a sports blog and you happen to be so beloved by the Christian God that he manipulates the happenstance of professional sports to make your feature better. 
