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A quick word about the lack of Dugouts lately ... as it turns out, we write about baseball so much that we love baseball, and when the playoffs start we're rarin' to go with Dugout after Dugout of wacky dialects and references to Watchmen. Then, two weeks pass we haven't done anything because we've been sitting around watching the playoffs.

I personally thought the Cubs were going to go all the way, because I have brain damage and never learned basic reasoning. Four out of ten Fanhouse writers picked the Cubs to go all the way, because when we aren't running a sports blog we're picking our nose and eating paste.

Don't get discouraged, Cubs fans! They've still got a chance! Tonight's Dugout is after the jump!

A couple of weeks ago, fellow Dugouteer Nick got a chance to write about Pedro Martinez and his involvement with cockfighting, which is like just like the UFC, except the participants don't have free will and there's no sense of pride and competition clouding up the bloodshed and gut-spilling. Also, they have knives. So it's like Tank Abbott in the UFC if you've stolen his leather jacket.

Anyway, Nick usually gets the good Dugout topics. He got to write about Barry Bonds dressing like Paula Abdul. But thankfully, Aramis Ramirez's stance of YEAH I LIKE TO FIGHT COCKS YOU WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT has given me enough of an excuse to do my own take on the story.

Oh, if you don't get his screen name, his name is pronounced "a-ROM-iss." Today: Fighting Death Birds! after the jump.