FanHouse Robertguillaume

The picture to your right is not of former Oriole Kris Benson throwing a pitch. He tried to wave goodbye to a friend and his arm just snapped back like that.

In baseball news you may have missed (because you could not possibly care about it), the former first pick in the 1996 draft and perennial bench-grimacer signed a minor league contract last Saturday with the Texas Rangers. He pitched two solid innings in the Rangers Wednesday opener. Huh.

Tonight's Dugout, alternately titled "Return of the Living Dead," is after the jump.

It's Official! Kris Benson signs with the Phillies! Good for him. Have you seen the Orioles motto for this season? "THIS IS BIRDLAND." That's a great way to get fans into the park. "We traded away our stars. COME SEE THE BIRD, THE ACTUAL ANIMAL THE BIRD"

With the migration of Anna Benson comes the next chapter in a Dugout story that began in the long long ago before the darkness came about how Anna would sleep with everyone on the team including the mascot if she ever caught her husband cheating. The only way this could get better for us is if she got traded to the Red Sox and got to deflower Wally the Green Monster. She would have to go into the police force and get choked by Dmitri Young to be more Dugout ready.

Anna Benson wears a jersey around her cleavage like we'd never expect and Kris Benson gets into a plane crash and misses the '08 season with a dilated brain in today's Dugout, after the jump.