
CLEVELAND -- He always has a rapper's catchphrase for everything and everyone, primarily himself. And while
Shaquille O'Neal really should adopt The Big Hypothermia -- an ode to a bone-chilled, unemployment-scarred town that couldn't be farther from Hollywood if it were on Uranus -- it's typical that he would produce a more creative, applicable nickname.
"I'm the Big Witness Protection Program," he said, playing off the Nike ad extravaganza for
LeBron James. "I've come here to protect the King."
Works for me. Given their collective magnitude in pop culture, it's hard to fathom that Shaq, maybe the greatest entertainer ever known to sports, has arrived in middle-market Ohio to join hands with James, who soon will push aside old man Tiger Woods as the most prominent athlete in the land, if not the world. But this is the unusual bond that happens when the
Cavaliers feel extreme urgency to win an
NBA championship for James, so he doesn't flee next summer for New York -- and the
Phoenix Suns only feel urgency to watch their bottom line. Shaq is shipped to Cleveland for a few pierogies, and, suddenly, a beleaguered town that hasn't won a major sports title since 1964 becomes pro basketball's epicenter.