FanHouse Snoop Dogg

The NFL season is less than five weeks away, and today FanHouse is at Ravens training camp -- Stop 2 and mile 270 of Dan Graziano's five-camp, 1,100-mile road trip.

WESTMINSTER, Md. -- Pressure? Nerves? Just because Tavares Gooden is expected to take over free-agent defector Bart Scott's spot at Ravens inside linebacker next to Ray Lewis? No way, says Gooden. Running with the first team in practice isn't about pressure or nerves. It's about great big holes to run through.

"You hear noises that make you think you're watching an army movie -- Haloti Ngata crashing into guys and stuff like that," Gooden said Sunday after the Ravens wrapped up their afternoon practice at McDaniel College. "And then you've got those holes and those openings, and you just fill them as a linebacker. I think that's the biggest part of being with the 'ones.' Everybody knows their assignments, and all you have to do is play off that D-line."

UPDATE: Hey... Brian Cook here. Yeah, this is totally fake. Gump 4 Heisman is a comedy blog. Our bad.

We've heard Pete Carroll's ever-so-diplomatic response to LSU head coach Les Miles's diss of USC's scheduled opponents. Now we've got the all-important Snoop Dogg reaction.

The FanHouse standards & practices board won't let me publish it verbatim, but I'll do my best to sanitize it down to PG-13 levels, using the same approach my local TV affiliate used on their recent rebroadcast of Die Hard II:

"The SEC, we done played Arkansas last year Les, tore they ass up by 40 Les, they won your division last year, Les, bitch-ass motherfalcon."

If you want to hear the two-drinks-before-9:30am Snoop's candid, unedited thoughts on Coach Miles, LSU, and his own beloved Trojans (you'll especially want to hear his thoughts on the ease with which USC racks up the Heismans), Gump 4 Heisman has the mp3 (WARNING: contains language that would make your mother, and for that matter, your motherfalcon, ashamed of you).


Previously on FanHouse:
Pete Carroll Responds to Les Miles
Les Miles Opens Mouth, Crazy Talk Billows Forth

Lil' Jon in Atlanta, Snoop Dogg in Anaheim... the NHL is starting to look like the NBA. And if you were wondering where Snoop sits at hockey games, it's "right next to the snow."

(Note: Unfortunately, the thing stalls at the 1:11 mark of the 1:47 interview, but hopefully, that gets corrected soon.)

UPDATE: Full video in there now.
Sorry, No Photos

A chagrined Black Shoe Diaries reports on what's possibly the second worst idea in the recent history of the Penn State football program*:

The Blue-White Rapper Show is a contest for Penn State Students to showcase their rap talents as well as their love of Penn State football. The winning original rap song will be performed at halftime of the first home football game on September 1, 2007. The original rap song must be done by a solo artist (no groups) and be under one minute in length. The central theme for the rap should be Penn State Football.

Folks, I was just in Happy Valley this fall, and I'm telling you to mentally remove the "blue" from the first sentence. This promises to be more awkward then that one time you walked into a karaoke night just as three frat boys started in on "Drop It Like It's Hot" without realizing how often they'd have to mumble awkwardly when the system prompted them to say "n****". Any Fanhouse aficionados who attend this monstrosity are begged to tape and upload it so the "winner" can receive the thorough internet battering he/she richly deserves.

*(#1: burning Anthony Morelli's redshirt so he could be the third string quarterback and throw a couple Hail Marys a few years ago)

Welcome to the highly-anticipated, much talked about 2006 USC-Arizona live blog -- your source for all of the first-hand peanut gallery commentary on the Wildcats and Trojans matchup at Arizona Stadium in Tucson, Arizona. Despite the efforts of the local Tucson media to give up on their team before this game starts, I happen to think the Wildcats are more than capable of giving the Trojans a serious game, and even taking one from mighty USC if we don't watch out. But even if the 'Cats don't come to play, I'll do my best to provide a moderately entertaining commentary track.

4:50pm: In case you're wondering, I'll be tracking all of the action live from my comfy living room in Los Angeles, California. You got a problem with that? I don't see you making the trip to Tucson.

4:51pm: Scott Wolf says Leinart and Duece Lutui are at the game.

4:52pm: Regarding the photo to the right -- with no actual game photos to use (yet), this lovely shot of Snoop Dogg in a LenDale jersey will have to do the job for today's UofA/USC liveblog lead photo. It's totally relevant -- I'm hoping the Trojans will look as happy as Snoop in this photo by the end of today's game at Arizona Stadium. And I just saw him in the Katt Williams HBO special -- which is hilarious, by the way.

4:55pm: Who's our bet on the star of the opening montage? It has to be Booty or Jarrett, right?

4:57pm: So UCLA is beating Washington pretty good right now. And how about that Georgia-Colorado game today? I don't know exactly what to make of anybody at this point.

5:00pm: Yep, it's Booty. "Could he be the next Heisman candidate?" Sure, why not? Our publicity dept. is the shizzle (to borrow from our fan Snoop ^)

5:02pm: Sorry Dan Fouts, I love ya', but...I really miss Keith Jackson.

5:03pm: So is Moody really starting over Chauncey?

5:04pm: Oooh, they established their running game against Stephen F. Austin. And Colt McCoy looked like the Heisman winner against North Texas.