The Chicago Cubs have finally won. They've got a new owner who isn't afraid to go straight to the local media and announce that the Cubs are going to the World Series. Boastful words, considering that the Cubs haven't even made it to the playoffs since Abraham Lincoln was in office. But it's just this sort of powerful, positive thinking that can do wonders for a ballclub, and as far as baby steps go, this is a pretty freaking big baby.
The transcript of Tom Ricketts being prideful before another season full of "every Cubs season" is after the jump.
The "youth movement" continues in Los Angeles, as Jim Thome and Manny Ramirez continue their countrywide trip to reunite the championship hopeful 1997 Cleveland Indians on the championship hopeful 2009 Dodgers. If you've missed where they've been so far, check out the numbered links below. If you haven't, and you are still somehow entertained by caps lock and typos, continue after the jump to read part seven of our epic special event.
The real story here, of course, is that the win statistic suddenly seems a little trivial. Baseball experts across the board have always agreed that wins are the definitive pitching statistic. ERA? WHIP? Maybe those nerds at the acronym factory are on to something, because a zero-pitch win just doesn't seem right. Then again, Embree was up against the Nationals, and everyone wins against the Nationals.
I am going to keep reusing this picture of Stephen Strasburg until you've lost track of which article you're reading, and everyone clicks this looking for draft coverage and we get tons of traffic. Typing typing typing, something about the "spirit of the game," blah blah. This guy is really something, though, and he's going to save the Nationals if he ever ends up pitching for them. I'm going to put him, Matt Wieters, and Jay Bruce on the Baseball Superfriends. Jose Canseco can be Solomon Grundy.
What you need to know: the Washington Nationals selected the San Diego State pitcher No. 1 overall pick in the 2009 MLB Draft. He once struck out 6,200 batters in one game. He looks like he should be playing bass for Incubus.
What you don't need to know: We are not qualified to cover the draft, and that tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
I commit my fair share of typos. It's an unfortunate consequence of writing things on the Internet. But if I instead stitched my posts, letter by profane letter, onto a quilt or throw pillow or something, you'd better believe that there would be no mistakes.
Some important news and notes from the warped minds at The Dugout:
1. Our annual Spring Training event (hilariously named "Spring Dugz" by Nick), where we cover a different team every day for 30 days, begins on Monday. So if you like ... I don't know, the Astros, be sure you don't miss out. 2. From here on out I won't be "B" anymore, but B. Thompson Stroud. Check the byline. Same letter, same guy, same esoteric jokes about wrestling. 3. Above the words here is an old picture of Dmitri Young being run over by a clownish car, because I felt that image best expresses the 2009 Washington Nationals season.
Now that that's all out of the way, enjoy tonight's Dugout, part 2 of Nationals Lampoon, after the jump.
It had to happen eventually. Jim Bowden, the beloved general manager of the dynastic Washington Nationals, has made a rare misstep. While scouting their way to the top, the Nats awarded the biggest international signing bonus in team history to a can't-miss prospect without looking into how old he is or finding out his actual name. That puts them right ahead of the Astros when it comes to developing a farm system!
Tonight's late night Dugout is after the jump. Unless I'm lying about that, too.
This is my first Dugout for the newly redesigned FanHouse, and it's the fulfillment of a dream. I always wanted to write inside of a Reebok commercial!
Because there is nothing you care about more than the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, you must know by now that Jeff Foxworthy is a tool of the Atlanta Braves. They use him to convince free agents to play for them. Do you think they tried that with C.C. Sabathia? He seems like the kind of guy who would really dig JEFF FOXWORTHY.
Fun fact No. 1 is that Jeff Foxworthy is a family friend. He and my Dad, a country music morning DJ, are fairly buddy-buddy and my parents have a Foxworthy platinum album hanging in their living room. Fun fact No. 2 is that it is my birthday! Aren't facts fun? This morning's Dugout is after the jump.
This new site design is pretty sharp, huh? As far as I can tell there are two rounded edges on the entire page. Gentlemen, if you forgot to shave this morning, feel free to just rub your face against the monitor. Fewer scrolls, less irritation.
In the spirit of aesthetic progress, I've decided to provide screen shots of the five major incarnations of The Dugout through the years. Read them after the jump.
What does this mean for the Twins? Obviously it means "we are trying to do something to light a fire under Delmon's ass so he stops playing defense like that." It could also mean Delmon being traded, hopefully to the Nationals, because that would be really hilarious and awesome.
The Chicago Cubs have finally won. They've got a new owner who isn't afraid to go straight to the local media and announce that the Cubs are going to the World Series. Boastful words, considering that the Cubs haven't even made it to the playoffs since Abraham Lincoln was in office. But it's just this sort of powerful, positive thinking that can do wonders for a ballclub, and as far as baby steps go, this is a pretty freaking big baby.
The "youth movement" continues in Los Angeles, as 
On Tuesday night's game between the 
I am going to keep reusing this picture of 
I commit my fair share of typos. It's an unfortunate consequence of writing things on the Internet. But if I instead stitched my posts, letter by profane letter, onto a quilt or throw pillow or something, you'd better believe that there would be no mistakes.
It had to happen eventually. 
This is my first Dugout for the newly redesigned FanHouse, and it's the fulfillment of a dream. I always wanted to write inside of a Reebok commercial!
This new site design is pretty sharp, huh? As far as I can tell there are two rounded edges on the entire page. Gentlemen, if you forgot to shave this morning, feel free to just rub your face against the monitor. Fewer scrolls, less irritation.
All Twins, all the time! We just 
