FanHouse Ster_rod

A lot of stories are coming out of the American League Championship Series this year. Alex Rodriguez has shunned his one major downside -- an inability to deliver in the clutch -- to destroy everything in his path. Joba Chamberlain is pitching out of the bullpen for fear that his presence will summon a collection of animals that will be the Yankees' downfall. And, most importantly, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim are turning into Mr. Bean every time the game is on the line.

Tonight we switch gears and spotlight the OTHER championship series going on between the Angels and Yankees. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

Jeff Bennett is notable for two reasons. First off, he's the unfortunate subject of the most unflattering photograph ever taken (see image right). Second, on Wednesday, he sucker-punched a dugout wall, broke his left fifth metacarpal, and returned to the mound to pitch another full inning.

The fracture didn't seem to adversely affect Bennett's performance. Which begs the question: how many times have you thought, "wow, I sure am glad I have a fifth metacarpal behind the pinky finger of my non-dominant hand! What a wonderful skeletal feature!" I never have. What a worthless bone.

Friday's Dugout is after the jump.

Mark Teixeira's debut for the New York Yankees was an 0-for-4 affair that was blamed on the unusually harsh Baltimore Orioles fans that felt betrayed by the guy who spent 8 years saying he wanted to play in Baltimore, then went to play directly AGAINST Baltimore for like 200 dollars more a year.

We're a month and a half into the season now, but Teixeira is still playing every game like Prop Joe is in his ear, yelling about how he is greedy and low, in the Dickensian sense. When will he snap out of it? No, I'm asking you. He's on my fantasy team and I'm in 20th place in an 18-team league.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

This seriously happens to me every year.

The season ends, and I get depressed. But the offseason still needs Dugouts, so I bust "A" and work hard to find stories and interesting situations for Dugouts throughout the offseason, when no baseball is occuring and everything is heresay and conjecture. Five months go by and we've done 2,000 Dugouts about (essentially) nothing. We keep saying, "Man, I can't wait until the season starts, and doing Dugouts will be easier!"

Then the season starts. Suddenly, it is three weeks later and we've been sitting on our butts loving baseball. We turn to our left, see our computer, go "OH CRAP THE DUGOUT" and spend the entire season making up for the first month we missed.

Oh, and I almost forgot: tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

We at The Dugout are not finished kvetching over the Yankees' abandonment of their old stadium. Sure, building a new stadium makes long-term financial sense, but I'm not sure why that should stop me from whining. I am going to stand on a milk carton and shriek, "THE YANKEES ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY" over and over for the rest of my days until I die friendless and alone.

Your Yankees Dugout is after the jump.

I want to see Peter Gammons interview Chris Brown.

Gammons: "Chris, you beat the crap out of your girlfriend, put her in the hospital, and bit her on the arm. Was it hard filming those Doublemint Gum commercials?"

Brown: "It has been a difficult time for all of us" etc.

Anyway, nothing we could write would be as easy-going and predictable as the actual Gammons/Rodriguez interview, so tonight's Dugout is just me copy and pasting text from the transcript into the field next to the images. Just try to picture Pete gnawing on his upper lip like he does while you read.

Hi, everybody! I've been sleeping all day and just woke up moments ago. What's been happening in the world of sports? Heh, did the Orioles bolster their bullpen? Let me jump over and find out what's going o-

Oh. OH.

And here I was prepared to do another strip about the Pirates. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump. Move along, nothing to see here.