FanHouse Terence Newman

Move over, Jaws. There's a new breakdown team in town. YouTube Film Session features the finest in amateur film parsing this side of the internet. Mindful of both X's and O's, and Jimmies and Joes.

Brandon Marshall's 51-yard touchdown grab was filthy. That's why you've seen it a million times between SportsCenter, NFL Live and the 17 blogs in your bookmark bar.

But after the jump, Back Porch goes inside the play that had Chris Berman howling, "Whaaaat? Whaaat?"

The number of possible NFL teams willing to take Michael Vick in is dwindling. Just about every franchise has, in one way or another, said the former Falcons' quarterback would not be welcomed to its organization.

One front-office source told me that if a team brought in Vick, it would have to be proactive -- contacting animal rights groups and get them involved somehow; making Vick speak to the media and fans as quickly as possible.

"Somebody will probably give him a job," Houston Texans owner Bob McNair said to FanHouse last week. "I don't know why he wouldn't go to Canada and kick the rust off. Right now, so many question marks. Somebody will [have to] be really desperate to sign him."

FanHouse's resident referee will chime in weekly with thoughts on major topics relating to officiating. We call it The Zebra Report. Matt Snyder is a high school official with eight years experience. While this is like a third-year resident critiquing the work of a world-renowned surgeon, it's still better than someone who has never worn the stripes.

Wow, this was a long weekend to those who support the boys in stripes. That group may only consist of myself at this point, but I still do. Those people who like to call the officials "blind" -- which, by the way, is incredibly uncreative and lame -- or believe they are out to screw a team out of a game, really don't have any idea what it takes to officiate at that level. Hell, I don't. I do know what it's like to be on the field and be a constant scapegoat for people who aren't accountable for themselves and/or their favorite team.

Each week in the NFL, there are players that impress and players that distress. One week a certain quarterback might toss four touchdowns and run around with his finger in the air while the next he's laying on his back, holding his facemask as the other team returns one of his three interceptions for the game-winning score. With that in mind, here's Studs and Duds.

Here's Week 15 at a glance, where we point out the horses destined for the Kentucky Derby and jeer those headed to the glue factory. (Disclaimer: This will only be for the Sunday games, since you probably can't even remember the Thursday games at this point.)

Studs

Andre Johnson, WR Houston (11 catches, 207 yards, 1 TD) -- Is it really a question? When Andre Johnson has his quarterback, Matt Schaub, behind center, he is the best receiver in the league. He's better than Anquan Boldin, Brandon Marshall, Randy Moss and, sigh, that dude that loves/hates Jason Witten. Today, facing the Texans' toughest opponent of the season, Johnson snagged a 65-yard catch to help his total stockpile. The Texans won, and while they still won't make the playoffs, they're showing that in the coming years they are a force to be reckoned with.

As things continue to unravel in Dallas, the Cowboys' spin control machine insists that it's "business as usual" at Valley Ranch, and the team is cheerfully focusing on the Giants and a run at the postseason. And then everybody chugged egg nog, belted out some Christmas carols and lived happily ever after.

The reality is that the Cowboys are a mess. Following Sunday's loss to the Steelers, Terrell Owens, Roy Williams and Patrick Crayton met with offensive coordinator Jason Garrett to express their dissatisfaction with quarterback Tony Romo primarily targeting tight end Jason Witten.

ESPN's Ed Werder reported that T.O. was jealous, a day later T.O. refuted the allegation, and then cornerback Terence Newman blamed it all on the coaching staff. Yep, business as usual.

As if things weren't bad enough for the Dallas Cowboys, cornerback Terence Newman decided to jump into the Sweet Valley High drama on Friday, and started pointing fingers at the Dallas coaching staff for not setting an example of what it means to be accountable.

This comes a day after reports surfaced that Terrell Owens was jealous of the fact Tony Romo and Jason Witten are best friends forever, and that the two hold double-super-secret meetings to design plays that purposely keep the ball out of Mr. Owens' hands. Even though Romo has been throwing the ball to Owens more than any other player on the team in recent weeks. But, hey, in the immortal words of Homer Simpson: "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, 14% of people know that."

Exactly.

Anyway, Tim MacMahon of the Dallas Morning News has Newman's quotes from his appearance on ESPN Friday morning and, well, he's blaming somebody else for the team being full of guys that like to blame somebody else. Yeah, accountability.

Raise your hand if you didn't see this coming. I'm not seeing many hands raised. Ed Werder, resident Cowboy's expert at ESPN, has a rather incredible article on Thursday talking about a potential conflict that is on the verge of consuming us all. I hope you're ready for it. I'm already going to the store to stock up on bread and toilet paper.

Apparently, Terrell Owens, always with a sunny disposition and rosy outlook on life, is growing jealous of the relationship and friendship that is shared by Dallas quarterback Tony Romo, and tight end Jason Witten.

Seriously.

I have to assume this is true, simply because it's so crazy that you couldn't possibly make it up. Plus, it sounds like vintage Owens behavior. Linebacker Bradie James is quoted in Werder's piece as saying he "plays peacemaker" between Owens and Romo, while a second, unnamed player takes it a couple of steps further, comparing this situation to the apocalyptic -- in a football sense -- situations that Owens created in San Francisco and Philadelphia. And we all know how that ended.

Tenth time's a charm, as the old saying goes. After countless run-ins with legal authorities and the NFL, "Adam" Pacman Jones "is taking a serious approach in his return to the Cowboys." It's a heartwarming story, really.

Jones is fresh off a 30-day stint at a Boston rehab facility, and was suspended for the entire 2007 season for various off-field transgressions. He'll return punts and play in the Cowboys' nickel packages this Sunday against the Steelers, assuming, of course, he can maintain that new-found work ethic.

"I think that's positive," [Cowboys secondary coach Dave] Campo said. "I talked to him two or three times before the last incident went down, and [now] I've kind of given him some space a little bit. I told him if you want to visit about anything don't hesitate. That's kind of the approach I'm taking."

The Dallas Morning News' Calvin Watkins writes that before Mr. Pacman's six-game suspension, he had struggled returning punts, averaging just five yards per runback. Opinions differ on Jones' worth as a defensive back, but given the team's inconsistencies in the secondary, at the very least, he offers depth.

Disaster averted: according to the always reliable Chris Mortensen (via MDS at PFT), "Adam" Pacman Jones didn't violate his contract when he allegedly scuffled with his bodyguard.

And after a lengthy internal investigation (read: a quick look at the depth chart, and the realization that cornerback Terence Newman still isn't completely healthy*), the Cowboys have no plans to discipline Mr. Pacman since, you know, he didn't break any team rules.

Mort reports that the bodyguard, an off-duty police officer, "told team security that some 'kidding around' and 'playfulness' between himself and the player resulted in a brief scuffle in a restroom." That's enough for Hairpiece, apparently.

The head of security for the Cowboys delivered his findings to Jerry Jones, whom sources say is content in the belief the incident has been overblown. However, the owner has reminded the player that Adam Jones' reputation and prior incidents place him under the highest scrutiny.

Yes, because we all need to be reminded of that. In any event, Dear Leader Goodell was on ESPN Radio earlier today and is awaiting all the facts before inevitably rendering a guilty verdict.

"It's clear there was some type of an incident," Goodell said. "Once we do understand the facts then we can make a judgment. ... I'm disappointed that we're even discussing this at this point in time," he said.

Disappointed, for sure. But surprised? Somehow I doubt it.

* baseless speculation