FanHouse The Masters

Quick, who won the Masters Sunday? Come on, first name, too.

This might be a first, when the winner of the Masters goes down as the answer to the trivia question. But this is going to be remembered as the Masters that Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson didn't win, assuming long term memories don't twist one of them into the green jacket someday. Also, some older guy (Kenny Perry) didn't win, either.

AUGUSTA, Ga. -- Back in black, with a stylish blue stripe on each sleeve, Tiger Woods snarled and seethed like an unleashed animal as he walked to the first tee. His stare was so intense, he didn't notice the "patrons" who were pushing and shoving in an eight-deep scrum to catch a brief glimpse, pressing so zealously against the ropes that a security guard shouted, "Two steps back, please!"

Of course, this is what the world has awaited for 10 anxious months, the comeback from his Battle of Wounded Knee, the return of sport's most breathtaking and history-rattling show to a major stage. He can't repair the economy, cure diseases or stop Lindsay Lohan from fighting with her ex-girlfriend, but it's uncanny how Woods' presence stimulates the American attention span.

"Welcome back, Tiger," a boy yelled above the din. "Win for me."

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It's the second week of April, which if you're a golf fan, means blooming azaleas, blue dye in Rae's Creek, pimento sandwiches and the first major of the season: The Masters.

It's the first, and arguably most prestigious, leg of the four major championships, and former PGA champ Davis Love III won't be there. And while this seems like an odd thing to point out, it's notable for one simple reason: it'll be the first time in 18 years that Love isn't teeing it up at the majors.

So what had been expected is now official: For the first time since the 1990 U.S. Open, Love will not be playing in a major, ending the longest active streak of consecutive major appearances at 70. The longest such streak now belongs to Phil Mickelson, with 55. The alltime record is held by Jack Nicklaus, who played in a staggering 146 straight majors over 36 1/2 years before passing on the 1998 British Open. Tom Watson is second with 87 straight. A shoulder injury kept him out of the '96 British Open, or his streak would be at 102.

The Masters is all about tradition: the par 3 tournament, the ceremonial tee shot, the green jacket, calling everybody "patron," the Champions Dinner, and of course, institutionalized racism.*

As is custom, the defending champion gets to choose the menu for the Champions Dinner held during Masters week. This year, Zach Johnson was planning to have Ruth Chris Steakhouse serve up some Iowa beef, to honor his roots, and in a nod to his wife, Amelia Island shrimp. Augusta National offered a polite "hell no" on the idea and reminded Johnson that he'd have to use the chefs on staff.

So it was back to the drawing board, and the menu remains a work in progress with only a couple of weeks before his mid-March deadline. Surf and turf is about as concrete as it gets so far.

"We're trying to piece some things together and see how that works out," Johnson said... "I have a feeling it's going to be some Midwest food with some Florida flair."

Sounds good. Just stay away from the chicken and collard greens. It really bums out the segregationists who will be in attendance.

After the jump, 20 years worth of Champions Dinner menus.

* joke

Gee, these guys are good. Check out this YouTube of Rory Sabbatini's putt that could only be more difficult if it travelled through a windmill and into a clown mouth. (Wait, maybe I shouldn't mention this just in case the folks at Augusta National are thinking of ways to make the course even harder). Extra points for a celebration a little more original than a fist pump.

Honorable mention:

Luke Donald Holing Out the Ball Twice: YouTube

Paul Casey's Birdie Putt (though if it misses the hole, it would have kept running): YouTube

Zach Johnson's stones of steel play the last day. getting birdies on 13, 14, and 16 and making solid shots on 18 to win the tournament.

There's two basic ways to prep for the Masters: 1. Show up early and get prepared for its unique challenges; or 2. Play a tournament the week before because the best preparation to play tournament golf is to play under pressure.

This year for the first time, the tournament the week before the Masters was the Shell Houston Open. Though the SHO had a large overseas contigent of players, the field had only 23 players who were also going to be playing at Augusta. Even so, the SHO tried to sell the tournament to the players as a Masters prep, and tried to replicate those conditions the best they could even though Houston is mostly flat and the greens at the SHO are bermuda.

It turns out that if you look at the top 16 including ties at the 2007 Masters, 5 of those players also played at the SHO: Padraig Harrington, Stuart Appleby, David Toms, Vaughn Taylor, and Tim Clark. By my count, 15 other SHO players also made the Masters cut. Seems to me that 20 out of 23 making the weekend at Augusta ain't bad.

Another benefit to the Shell Houston Open is Augusta National Chairman Billy Payne's announcement that they were reinstating the long-standing policy that allows tour winners to receive automatic invitations to the Masters. This will encourage good players not already in the Masters field to give it one last shot to qualify for it at the SHO.

Correction: Please see the comment from the SHO tournament director here. He says in part: "We cannot stress enough that the green surfaces at this time of year are NOT bermuda grass. At this time of year in our area bernuda grass is dormant. We have heavily overseeded greens with a bent and poa trivialis mix which allows us to maintain more consistency and faster green speeds (weather permitting)." Well, apparently, their hard work paid off for the players who played both the SHO and the Masters.

Yesterday, Fred Couples barely make the cut at the Masters, by getting an up and down from 15 feet. This ties the Masters record of making the cut at 23 times. It is a particularly impressive feat for a guy with a wrecked back playing in cold weather. And given his impressive play at last year's Masters, this is not just a meaningless record of someone past his prime.

I was talking with someone the other day about Fred Couples, and we've decided he might just be the coolest guy on the planet. There might be athletes who are hipper, or more automatic, or with more successful overall careers or more money, but truly, who is cooler than Fred? Seriously, if you were to do a bracket of all the coolest public figures in the world, who could beat Freddie? I can't think of anyone.

For example, I usually believe that visors on men are usually kind of a girly, affected look, but Fred makes it work. If you are a fan-o-Fred, check out the above YouTube. The video is longish and cheesily put together, and it doesn't even begin to demonstrate the coolest that is Fred, but it's still worth watching.

You know that little piano ditty that's playing in the background when Jim Nantz talks about the "tradition unlike any other"? Of course you do, every golf fan knows that song. In fact, most golf fans downright love the song.

Over the next four days, if you watch any Masters coverage at all, that song will be jammed forcefully into your skull, whether you like it or not, and it won't leave until about August.

Did you know the song has lyrics? It does. I had no idea. The song is called "Augusta," and it was written by a fellow named Dave Loggins who likes jean jackets and turtleneck sweaters. The lyrics are very sappy and very nostalgiac. They're very Augusta-y.

Well, it's springtime in the valley on Magnolia Lane
It's the Augusta National and the master of the game
Who'll wear that green coat on Sunday afternoon?
Who'll walk the 18th fairway singing this tune?
Augusta, your dogwoods and pines
They play on my mind like a song
Augusta, it's you that I love
And it's you that I'll miss when I'm gone.

I can't wait for the remix with Ol' Dirty Bastard. Anyway, here's the whole song, with lyrics. Pay attention to the very special compliment that Loggins pays at the end to "the wooden-shafted legend, Bobby Jones."

It's already been an intensely stressful and rewarding week for golfer Brett Quigley, and The Masters hasn't even started.

Quigley, playing in his first Masters at the age of 37, got in a little bit of practice at Augusta before being suddenly called away. He caught a quick flight home to be with his wife while she gave birth to Lillian Sage Augusta Quigley (nice touch, Quigley family) at 2:55 a.m. on Wednesday. Quigley says he left his golf clubs at Augusta "because he knew it was the only way he would come back."

His uncle Dana, also a golfer on the PGA and Champions Tour, is sending 150 cigars to Augusta for the new dad to pass out.

I really hope he makes the cut. He'd probably feel like a pretty big tool if he missed the first few days of his daughter's life, just to duff it around Augusta for two days and then go home.

I can't tell you if it will help or hurt Quigley's game this week to be a brand new father ... honestly, it probably won't matter a whole lot, because it's (no disrespect intended) Brett Quigley we're talking about here. Chances are, he wasn't going to contend anyway. But that's alright, he's already had a pretty good week.

You can find the full list here, and here are some of the more interesting ones:

9:50: Bernhard Langer, Rich Beem, Colin Montgomerie
10:34: Fred Couples, Geoff Ogilvy, Ernie Els
11:07: Jose Maria Olazabal, Charles Howell III, Justin Rose
12:02: Raymond Floyd, Miguel Angel Jimenez, Jeff Sluman

And the two pairings you probably care most about...

10:56: Phil Mickelson, a-Richie Ramsay, Adam Scott
1:52: Tiger Woods, Paul Casey, Aaron Baddeley

Kind of a a tough break for Richie Ramsay. The 23-year-old U.S. Amateur champion's going to have to deal with the biggest gallery, the most distractions, the most cameras, and the biggest spotlight ... not to mention the overwhelming presence of Woods, who isn't known to be overly talkative or friendly to his playing partners. Sorry, amateur. I hope you thrive on that sort of thing.