FanHouse Theglavinator

Dear John Rocker,
Sincerely,
The Dugout

Saturday morning's Dugout, concerning the throwing around of profanities and racial slurs by a Mr. Rocker, is after the jump.

This picture was taken shortly after someone told Lance Niekro that the word "knuckleball" does not start with an "n."

As previously reported, the son of Joe Niekro and the nephew of Phil Niekro has decided to abandon a career of .246 hitting to pursue a life of knuckleballing. Can it be learned? Can it be taught?

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

When I was a kid, I had a poster stapled to my bedroom wall. Greg Maddux, John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, and Steve Avery, all stone-faced and holding baseballs.

In retrospect, Avery sort of served as abstract representation of the obligatory placeholder. First it was him, then it was Denny Neagle, then Kevin Millwood. They were not individuals; they were the nameless rabble of exploding drummers from Spinal Tap.

If Maddux, Glavine and Smoltz end up retiring this year, and hit the Hall of Fame ballot simultaneously, what becomes of Avery? Bizarre gardening accident?

This evening's Dugout is after the jump.

Sometimes a topic finds its way into the Fanhouse and nobody knows what to say about it. This is one of the times when having The Dugout around really helps, because not having any idea what to say about something is what we do best. A quick character guide to help new readers catch up:

Andre Ethier - a deep, complex character whose primary story arc chronicles his constant watching of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Esteban Loaiza - is Mexican, has a funny screen name
Brad Penny - should not be pulling this kind of tail

Today's Dugout features adult situations, so get your parents' permission before logging on.

I suppose I can understand why Mets fans wanted Tom Glavine's head on a pike. When they began to suggest that Glavine, formerly of the rival Braves, threw the last game of the season because he still pumped Atlanta blood, I took it as hyperbole and laughed along.

This evening, though, our own PostmanE posted something that made me stop laughing about the whole thing. It seems that Tom Glavine will likely be a Brave next season. This, of course, completely validates our theory. To the best of my ability, I have re-constructed in Dugout form the events transpiring within Glavine's years in New York, after the jump.