FanHouse Thegwire

Whoever was just hired as the hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, raise your hand. All right, you in the suit. Tell us how you got the job. What? You don't want to talk about it? Hey that seems pretty weird!

Yes, 2010 will see the return of shadowy figure Mark McGwire to Major League Baseball. He should use his influence to get the Cards to sign Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds to coaching deals as well, and everyone in St. Louis can root for a ball club instructed by the Monstars.

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

Prerequisites:

Mark McGwire Is Here To Talk About The Future

Mark McGwire Is Here To Talk About The Future II Part 1

Make sure to read those before continuing on to part 2 of tonight's Dugout, unless you want it to make even less sense than it does to me.

In part 2: Mark McGwire can now ONLY talk about the past, we get the return of a couple of G1 characters (one of whom is a sweet mode of transportation), and at last the true form of PECOTA is revealed. Leave us some comments, enjoy the lore, and be here for the start of the biggest sci-fi epic of the summer. Which is, uh, almost over.

Part 2, after the jump.

A week away has sent us into the past. Unfortunately, we are not employed by FanHouse to talk about the past. Well, Mark McGwire is ready to talk about the past, so the least we could do is the first true sequel to a pre-FanHouse Dugout from the past where we talked about talking about the future.

Prerequisite reading from 2006:
Mark McGwire Is Here To Talk About The Future

And I don't want to talk about the past, but if you were waiting for the mystical protectorate of baseball's innocence to show up for real and full time, well... you'll be happy enough with the first block of this strip.

Part 1 of tonight's Dugout is after the jump. Part 2 will follow shortly.