FanHouse Thrashers

Looking at this photo snapped in Atlanta during All-Star weekend, I feel like I'm viewing a grainy snapshot of The Beatles and The Stones jamming together in a London pub back in 1965. OK, maybe it's more like a cell phone photo of the casts of "Knocked Up," "Superbad" and "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" sharing a hookah. Whatever you call it, I'm calling it historic: A Penguin sits between an orca and a polar bear, and survives to tell the tale.

Using the latest in CSI-style investigation and unabated snark, The Empty Netter has analyzed this photograph and came to some stunning conclusions. (Montreal Canadians Mascot: Looks to be flashing gang signals; maybe putting out a "hit" on the Maple Leaf mascot.) But only FanHouse was there to record the costumed conversation in this world exclusive ...

Every day from Monday to Saturday, The Ice Sheet will take a look at the biggest stories in the league that happened on the ice and elsewhere the night before.

(An virtual recreation of an actual conversation that occurred on the morning of Jan. 1, 2008, in a cluttered post-party living room somewhere in Maryland.)

• "What are you putting on now? Not that 'Twilight Zone' marathon again."
• "Nope. A little thing called 'The Winter Classic.' Pittsburgh and Buffalo are playing a hockey game in a football stadium today. It's going to be awesome."
• "Give me the remote, I'll find something to ... wait, WTF? There's, like, 100,000 people there, it's snowing like hell and Bob Costas is standing in front of a hockey rink."
• "I told you it'd be cool. I mean, not as cool as watching Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve..."
• "Actually, Greg, the word is cruel. You've been doing the same Tom Carvel impression every year since Dick Clark came back from the stroke. Hey, who's this Crosby guy they keep showing?"

And with that, a grand experiment began: Using an outdoor game to attempt to sell hockey to a gaggle of 20-something females with a self-confessed puck allergy.

(Coming Up Next: Big Time Hollywood Stars at the Winter Classic, Scandalous and Hilarious Puck Headlines, Tonight's Must-See Games, a Great Little Bud Light Tribute to Hockey and Some Guy Who's Convinced the Winter Classic was Fixed.)