Hey, I just got online for the first time in a week. Were you aware that some things happened in baseball this week? Apparently, slugger Manny Ramirez was trying to get pregnant (or something), and now he's going to miss fifty games because of it! I should really check my Fantasy Team more often.
Daily Dugout updates begin again today. Sorry for any inconvenience. I'm also sorry for whatever inconveniences you run into reading tonight's Dugout, after the jump.
Ed Price offers a much-appreciated breakdown of what took place during Sunday's Dodgers-Diamondbacks game. Pitcher Dan Haren caught a ball in the air, but Andre Ethier, who was on third base, managed to score despite never having tagged up. As it turns out, this occurrence is consistent with baseball's rule book, but it seems contrary to the nuances of the game, doesn't it? What is this, Calvinball?
In what amounts to pretty much the only interesting sports story of the day, Joe Torre has taken it upon himself to write a tell-all book dismissing his former ballclub like so much prostate cancer.
In the book, Joe reveals that Alex Rodriguez is a weird creep, Brian Cashman isn't 100 percent on the level, and George Steinbrenner cares more about the "Yankees" than he does about the people who make up the Yankees. The title of the book, if you're interested in reading it, is Things We Already Knew*.
It's been a roller coaster ride this season for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and their real-life equivalents in the Dugout Chatroom have felt it. They were accused of being yokels from the past, they acquired and perverted one of the most popular players in the game, and they discussed at length Andre Ethier's "tINCFoUTaCU".
Tonight is the last Dugout of the Dodgers' 2008 campaign. It's like those episodes of Buffy that didn't really involve a monster and were just there to move along the season-long arc. Not dorky enough for you? It's like the Cowboy Bebop episodes without Vicious.
I guess it was dorky enough before. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.
Poor on-base plus slugging percentage (OPS). Your only meaningful purpose is to be calculated as a means to obtain your big brother, adjusted on-base plus slugging percentage (OPS+). You're not a bad stat, OPS. You're actually a very solid indicator of a baseball player's performance. You're just...superfluous. OPS+ has proven to be one of the most concise, accurately reflective statistics in the world of baseball, but you're just an afterthought; a means to an end.
The Los Angeles Dodgers and the Playoffs are SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Players are having disputes with announcers, trades are being made, statistics are being used to support and argue and build and destroy. Futures are being planned. Hair is either being cut or not being cut, we aren't quite sure. Is there going to be a happy ending?
Today's Dugout, one man's point of view, is after the jump.
I don't care how good he's playing he still looks weird in that uniform. Like when I'm playing MLB The Show 08 for the PS3 and turn on the fantasy draft. Juan Pierre is an Oriole and he's driven in 160 runs before the All-Star Break!
In tonight's Dugout, after the jump, the heel turn continues as Manny learns valuable lessons about humility, Internet phenomena, and bottled water licensing agreements.
Only a day after the pivotal Dugout of the season, the passage of time and the inevitability of happenstance thrusts the trade of Manny Ramirez on us. And not just a trade: a trade full of organization-bashing and apathy after a season devoted to disproving the character we'd developed. Our Manny has always been a bit slow, but he's also always been the kind of guy who means well and tries hard, even when he's goofing around. He's misunderstood. He's just "being Manny."
Well, "being Manny" has a different definition now.
As the Farnsworth story comes full circle, the MannyTheTorpedoes story comes to an end. Next week: Dontrelle Willis wins the Pulitzer Prize and Bill Pecota reveals that he prefers football. Tonight's Dugout, the end of an era, is after the jump.
As we ease back into regularly -scheduled Dugout programming post-Fanhouse makeover we have to get used to seeing familiar faces in new places. Lately Cleveland has taken the Baltimore Orioles approach to getting out of last place by trading away all their good players for prospects, so their best pitcher is now a Brewer and their third baseman/first baseman when they're tired of Ryan Garko hitting .006 is now an L.A. Dodger. The Andy Marte Era has begun!
Today's non-Wikipedia Dugout entry chronicles two things:
1) The blockbuster trade between the Indians and the Dodgers 2) My ability to write about the Dodgers without falling back on that terrible Fresh Prince of Bel-Air running gag from the G1 Dugout
Earlier this week, New York Yankees senior VP Hank "George" Steinbrenner came down like a decrepit stadium on the role of pitchers in interleague play, saying that it was an antiquated rule that caused one of his best pitchers to miss time with the team. The "blogging-o-sphere" immediately got their panties in a bunch over the comments, but you know what? Hank Steinbrenner is exactly right. Are we supposed to let tradition halt evolution? Should we still be playing games in the dark? Should we just play old tapes of Red Barber over new games and hope the play-by-play matches up?
Of course we shouldn't. Hank, the boys at The Dugout are here for you. Today's Dugout (which can be read by clicking the "read the dugout" thing that follows this paragraph) blows the roof off of the hypocritical, so-called web-logging-o-sphere. Grow up, National League. You baby.
Ed Price offers a much-appreciated breakdown of what took place during Sunday's Dodgers-Diamondbacks game. Pitcher Dan Haren caught a ball in the air, but Andre Ethier, who was on third base, managed to score despite never having tagged up. As it turns out, this occurrence is consistent with baseball's rule book, but it seems contrary to the nuances of the game, doesn't it? What is this, Calvinball?
In what amounts to pretty much the only interesting sports story of the day, Joe Torre has taken it upon himself to write a tell-all book dismissing his former ballclub like so much prostate cancer. 
It's been a roller coaster ride this season for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and their real-life equivalents in the Dugout Chatroom have felt it. They were accused of being yokels from the past, they acquired and perverted one of the most popular players in the game, and they discussed at length Andre Ethier's "tINCFoUTaCU". 
Poor on-base plus slugging percentage (OPS). Your only meaningful purpose is to be calculated as a means to obtain your big brother, adjusted on-base plus slugging percentage (OPS+). You're not a bad stat, OPS. You're actually a very solid indicator of a baseball player's performance. You're just...superfluous. OPS+ has proven to be one of the most concise, accurately reflective statistics in the world of baseball, but you're just an afterthought; a means to an end.
Only a day after the pivotal Dugout of the season, the passage of time and the inevitability of happenstance thrusts the trade of Manny Ramirez on us. And not just a trade: a trade full of organization-bashing and apathy after a season devoted to disproving the character we'd developed. Our Manny has always been a bit slow, but he's also always been the kind of guy who means well and tries hard, even when he's goofing around. He's misunderstood. He's just "being Manny."
As we ease back into regularly -scheduled Dugout programming post-Fanhouse makeover we have to get used to seeing familiar faces in new places. Lately Cleveland has taken the Baltimore Orioles approach to getting out of last place by trading away all their good players for prospects, so their best pitcher is now a Brewer and their third baseman/first baseman when they're tired of Ryan Garko hitting .006 is now an L.A. Dodger. The Andy Marte Era has begun!
Earlier this week, New York Yankees senior VP Hank "George" Steinbrenner came down like a decrepit stadium on the role of pitchers in interleague play, saying that it was an antiquated rule that caused one of his best pitchers to miss time with the team. The "blogging-o-sphere" immediately got their panties in a bunch over the comments, but you know what? Hank Steinbrenner is exactly right. Are we supposed to let tradition halt evolution? Should we still be playing games in the dark? Should we just play old tapes of Red Barber over new games and hope the play-by-play matches up? 
