They say trying to qualify for the U.S. Open is like trying to catch lightning in a bottle, but catching the lightning is tough when you're so drunk you can barely hold the bottle. That was my game on Monday, as I tried to grab one of six qualifying spots during a U.S. Open qualifying event in my current state of residence, Arizona. I was the drunkest guy in the bar, trying to hold up a bottle while lightning bolts came crashing down around him. It was what some would probably expect from a guy that hasn't played a competitive round in nearly a year. I've heard a few quotes about tournament golf, but my favorite is probably the one that compares golf and tournament golf to tennis and ice skating. Nope, they aren't very similar.

























