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The Dugout: Unable to Sleep in Seattle

This photo was taken Wednesday. Upon signing with the Mariners, Ken Griffey, Jr. instantly manifested as his twenty-year-old self, grew his old "Carlton from Fresh Prince" moustache, and donned a baseball cap that looks as though it were first worn by a giant Lego man.

Griffey, a childhood hero of every twentysomething baseball fan, re-joined the team we've always associated him with, and did so after taking the advice of the great Willie Mays. I'm a Braves fan, and in the face of all this storybook nonsense, I can't really muster much disappointment. It's going to be great. Griffey will hit 53 home runs this year. This evening's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout: Grady Sizemore Joins the Club

Grady Sizemore, this is your year. You have hit 30 home runs and stolen 30 bases in a single season, joining an exclusive club that boasts Hall of Fame five-tool legends such as Dante Bichette and Raul Mondesi. You have achieved a statistical milestone celebrated not in the spirit of objective productivity, but of numerical romance. Oh, baseball, what frivolity can't you worship?

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

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