FanHouse Florida

Over the weekend, the Florida Gator brain trust decided one way to respond to the 24 football player arrests in the past four years was to send the football team on ride alongs with the local Gainesville police. The theory, apparently, is that if players can see what police do on a daily basis from the front seat of a police cruiser they'll be more likely to stay out of the back seat.

Of course, it also makes it more likely that the police will know the name of the player they happen to be arresting. So everybody wins.

Every Monday during college football's endless offseason, The FanHouse Walk will put last week's stories to bed and deliver the essentials to bridge that agonizing space between now and September.

There's an unnerving, repetitive theme to the first four items in this week's FanHouse Walk -- lawyers. Maybe its just the offseason or an odd week, but they seem to be everywhere related to college football right now. Today's headliner finds Florida's Attorney General Bill McCollum threatening the NCAA and its president Myles Brand with a $1,000 fine or even jail time if it doesn't make public documents related to its confidential investigation into Florida State athletics.

Over the weekend Florida cornerback Janoris Jenkins became the 24th Gator football player to be arrested in the past four years. Jenkins was tased after fighting with men he claims were attempting to steal his jewelry. That happens to all of us when we go out. You should have seen this dude step to me over my pinky ring the other night.

Much of the nation, among them the Florida fan base, collectively shrugged their shoulders. Unless, that is, you happened to be a rival of Florida's who has lost to them on the field in the past few years. Then you were outraged. That's how it goes with college football arrests; we're all a bunch of hypocrites. If our team wins we don't care if the entire team gets sent up the river together, as long as they're back by Saturday. Any amount of off-field incidents can be brushed aside, so long as you're successful enough on the field.

It's been an eventful offseason for SEC football. The addition of Lane Kiffin to the coaching ranks gave the conference another huge name. Instead of taking his lumps at Tennessee after the disastrous end to the Phil Fulmer era, Kiffin came out swinging.

Not only did he and his staff work to sign a top-ten recruiting class, but Kiffin also managed to alienate virtually everyone outside of the Volunteers fan base.

The SEC coaches meetings rolled into Destin, Fla., this week, and Lane Kiffin washed ashore.

You know Kiffin, the man who brought a Molotov cocktail to the SEC tea party, the guy who coaches like tickets have to be sold for the latest WWE event. You halfway expect for him to enter press conferences wearing orange tights, grab the mike, scream invectives at his rivals, then spike the microphone, kiss his biceps, and leave without taking questions. Kiffin coaches college football like Vince McMahon helms the WWE, it's all about creating a buzz.

Beaches and bikinis aside, the state of Florida is loaded with prep football talent. Again.

Despite the wealth, however, one veteran recruiting analyst says he doesn't remember the state, specifically South Florida, being this good. Around 200 high-school players in Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties alone are considered Division-I prospects.

It's easy to see how the overall depth of talent and the consistency of play have made Florida an important ticket for college coaches. One of the Sunshine State's brightest in the Class of 2010 is Matt Elam of Palm Beach Gardens.

So this is how it's going to be for Charlie Weis from now on. Urban Meyer here, Urban Meyer there. The dark cloud that is Meyer has been hovering over Weis since he first started failing as Notre Dame's coach. Now, with Weis on his last chance, Meyer keeps looming even more than ever as a reminder.

Steve Spurrier was probably just trying to do his usual, sticking him thumb in someone's eye, in this case his former employer. Meyer has taken over his spot not only as Florida's coach, but also as the nation's top name. So Spurrier, now the South Carolina coach, was on the radio the other day, when he just so happened to bring up Florida and Meyer.

It's really come to this.

Last week, a Florida high school principal, Ariel Alejo (like the Little Mermaid, how cute), refused to allow a Tennessee assistant coach to enter campus and extend a scholarship offer to one of his students. Why? Because he's still upset over comments Lane Kiffin made last February after signing another Pahokee student, Nu'Keese Richardson.

Why might Principal Alejo (right) be upset? I don't know, it could have something to do with the fact that his public profile page for Pahokee High School features a Florida Gator at the bottom [Now replaced with the Pahokee High seal. Alejo's e-mail address has also been removed.] Alongside this quote, "I would also like for every student to graduate and go to college." What needs to be added to the end of the quote is this, "Unless they go to Tennessee." No matter which school you support, I think we can all agree, this is ridiculous and colossal misplacement of school time, energy and focus.

Christmas decorations begin in late August, and now the ClayNation Hypesman Watch (CHW) is here in the first week of May. It's part of a new term, I just coined: Heisman Creep. (And it has nothing to do with Maurice Clarett). We're going to try something radical here, every other week or so we'll drop in and give you a top 10 list for Heisman candidates. Even though most of them are finishing their spring finals right about now. The goal is to ridicule the Heisman obsession, keep us entertained, and write about the Heisman in a way no one else is.

And, plainly, it's never too early to start debating the most over-hyped award this side of a kindergarten valedictorian.

What do you get when you combine the greatest college football player in the history of the game, Tim Tebow, with women's underwear? Tee-bows of course, cleverly designed underwear with the letter T and bows on them.

Already the University of Florida has forced the sales staff to take down an unauthorized picture of Tebow, and now the panties, which took these here Internets by storm last week, have to sell their product without the Great One's likeness.

But is anyone else troubled by the irony of the University of Florida, they of the Tim Tebow No. 15 jerseys that are available across the country, profiting off Tebow while Tebow himself can't?